Mike came to visit us in Wichita and we’re pleased to report he’s alive and well. The details:

• In honor of his favorite band, he has changed his name to “Stanch Malefic.”
• He’s got the tattoo to prove it.
• When he showed up, he had in the passenger seat Warren Buffett, passed out and drooling, his feet surrounded by empty Robitussin bottles. Apparently Mr. Malefic and the WB stopped in Topeka on the way down and had themselves a very large time.
• How did he meet the Sage of Omaha? It happened over the past three years. He wasn’t terribly specific on the details, but it had something to do with the merchant marine, a Ukrainian prostitute and some dive bar in Guam.
• Did you remember he had a clubfoot? Neither did I.
• New hobbies? Three words: Slavic folk dances. (Awkward, you know. Clubfoot.)
• In addition to a sack of clothes and Mr. Buffett, he also brought with him several gallons of chemicals in clear plastic jugs. Once he showed up he asked for a bathroom with a tub, then disappeared, murmuring something about “creating life.”
• Obama sticker on his car. Now that’s Change I Can Believe In!