Since I've been reading the Nebraska papers this week, I thought I'd pass along this story about Chuck Hagel dressing up as Joe Biden for Halloween.

The Joe Biden costume looks like a lot more fun than the Chris Dodd Halloween costume.

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...and this is the big story from the game. I would totally rock that outfit.

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While the Smith and Ninth Street station will be closed for a year to repair the Culver viaduct, the good news is that G train service is being extended to Church Avenue.

In other Brooklyn-Queens transit news, Sufjan Stevens is composing an orchestral work celebrating the BQE.

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He's built like me, if I were a 6'2, broad-shouldered Arab guy who spent all day working out. We have something else in common, too: An interest in Dr. No.

Tufiq in the mornings works Harbor Fitness, also known as Hellx's natural habitat. And it seems he's taken a shine to Dr. No. Their exchanges go something like this:

Dr. No: Hi, Tufiq!

Tufiq: (Smiles broadly. Can people have that many teeth?) Oh, hello, sunshine. How are you? Have I mentioned that your name, in my language, means "light"?

Uh-huh. I'll bet he tells that to women named Consuelo and Elizabeth, too.

This is how it goes when he sees me:

Me: Hi Tufiq.

Tufiq: (Jealous glower.)

Me: Uh, my ID number is 2098.

Tufiq: (Punches my number in the computer. Continues to glower.)

My question to the Norlosers: Am I a fifth wheel?

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Our home modem died, leaving Norlos Central without the Intarwebs. This has forced Dr. No and I to -- wait for it -- actually sit and converse like a couple. The new modem can't arrive fast enough.

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Last week I agreed to do the lighting for a new musical at the Gallery Players, so, instead of watching Jayhawk football, I'm watching a play about a love affair between two men set against the backdrop of World War II.

As much as I'm disappointed that I haven't been able to see every play of this great football season, I've been impressed by Yank!. Even though the production I worked on last fall just won a New York Innovative Theatre Award, I think this may be the best production I've been involved with.

Part of it has to do with the fact that this is the full production of the play that's ever been done, something that feels pretty neat. The other thing I like is that the lighting designer took a pretty minimal approach, so anytime I feel like something needs more light I can add it. It gives me a lot of room to experiment. Finally, I love being involved with a show that people walk out of at the first kiss between the two principals.

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The NYT has an entertaining story about cross country racing. Even more entertaining is the name of the person who contributed reporting for this article: Happy Blitt.

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Would you like to be buried in this?

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I hated Lou Holtz when he was at Notre Dame, but I join EDSBS in lauding Lou as a television commentator. He adds a healthy dose of Grandpa Simpson to every broadcast he's involved in. Here's how EDSBS describes his presence during the Navy-Pitt game:

Holth wath magnifithent, though. Lou Holtz was in legendary form last night. Holtz threatened to punch Mark May in the face, ripped Wannstedt rightfully for not running on third down before going for it on fourth down at the goal line, referred to the flexbone as the wishbone all night, and was talking with his mouth full of whatever heart-attack-in-a-bun they were given in the middle of the broadcast long after May and Davis daintily nibbled and went back to the broadcast. Holtz is quickly becoming the demented uncle with progeria we never had.

For those who are curious, here's how the flexbone differs from the wishbone and this is what he was eating.

Watch Lou Holtz perform magic here and watch him dance here. I love the trademark loosened tie that he wears during his pep talks. It took me a couple of weeks to realize that it was an affectation and he that hadn't just forgotten to straighten his tie.

Update: Here's EDSBS's latest post on Lou Holtz.

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Australians like to drink and recently they forced an Italian tourist to have three vodkas an hour for three straight days.

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During our nine-month evaluation of the Iraq invasion I bemoaned the fact my prediction that Iranwould take over southern Iraq and the Turks would invade Kurdistan hadn't come to pass. Well, it's taken four years, but Turkey has finally started attacking Kurds in Iraq and Iran has a significant presence in Iraq.

In scary news, the New Yorker had an article that makes it sound like military action against Iran is imminent. It was a lot funnier when the Onion suggested that this might happen.

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This is not your regular Hellx. This is a different man. A changed man. A man on edge. A man to be given a wide berth, if not outright feared.

Two days before kickoff: I'm frantic on deadline, with a huge amount of work still to be done and precious few minutes to do it -- one of those days when I look at the clock and beg for just a few more minutes. Ping goes my email. It's from Hellx. Whining about the game. I dash him a quick note saying that if he needs to be preoccupied I have a pile of work he could help with.

One day before kickoff: Ok, I say via email, now I can think about it. His reply: You can turn it on and off? I can't think of anything else!

An hour before kickoff: Hellx and I bike to Jebus and TSI!'s place. He keeps missing red lights and speeding cars, and one of his legs is quivering.

At the game: There's jumping. Cheering. Cussing. ("Earmuffs, Hellx!" Jebus says a couple of times.) There are dances with arms and legs akimbo. There's flopping. There's sweating. Songs and chants. To watch Hellx on game day is to glimpse Man at his most base, scarcely removed from the savage creatures that first walked on two legs then bashed their neighbors' heads in over coconuts.

After the game: Mostly silence on the ride home. A couple of times svelte Hellx leaves chunky me in the dust. An ebullient Hellx is a fast Hellx.

Phone call, game day night, after I've gone to bed: I can't believe it! I'm still psyched! That was awesome.

Imagine if we had lost.

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For anyone lucky enough to be watching the KU-KSU game on FSN, you may have witnessed history in the making. Following the interception by KU just before halftime, a crowd-shot showed one lucky Lyle man in the crowd. He was sporting a very fashionable red S.H.I.T. shirt!

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We are good for football this weekend. All are welcome.

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According to ESPN, Gus Frerotte is going to start for St. Louis this weekend. Gus Frerotte participated (briefly) in the most ludicrous NFL game I've ever seen: 7-7 tie between the Redskins and the Giants. By the end I was simply rooting for incompetence.

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Since the Cubs are getting ready to play tonight in the postseason for the first time since the the infamous 2003 NLCS, the NYT attempts to catch up with Steve Bartman.

What the NYT doesn't mention is that both the batter during the infamous Bartman play, Luis Castillo, and the fielder, Moises Alou, were involved in another memorable debacle: the historic collapse of the 2007 Mets. Every Mets fan has a tale of woe, a story of when the Mets broke his or her heart. Yesterday I learned that for the guy behind the deli counter at Steve's C-Town, it was the 2000 World Series. Now I have mine.

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I was walking down Broadway when I saw this movie poster on a phone booth. The fact that "The Rock" is now being credited as Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson immediately caught my eye, since I'd never known what "The Rock"'s real name was. I thought, "wow, they're trying to rebrand 'The Rock.'"

Just two years ago, "The Rock" was simply "The Rock" on movie posters. Then, in 2006, he became Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. When does he complete the transition to Dwayne Johnson? Based on this trailer, it looks like it's going to be June 2008.

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A University of Memphis football player was shot and killed on Sunday, but the football team went on to play their scheduled game yesterday. Naturally, since Memphis won, there's the expected story about the healing power of sports.

As usual, I prefer the Onion's take on the healing power of sports.

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Soulja Boy's "Crank Dat" is infecting football. From mascots to the UT Longhorns to the Dallas Cowboys "Crank Dat" is becoming the "We Fly High" of fiscal year 2008. "Ballin'" became so popular in fiscal year 2007 that now it's featured in Madden 2008 and was reported about in the LJW.

Learn how to crank dat and read about why we might be living in a golden age of dance crazes.

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Not a fake. This was the intro to Sunday's episode.

The week of the deal, on my out of office message I left this:

"I for one welcome our new insect overlords."

In other news, Homer sounds very different in German.

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