Although home now, I would be remiss if I didn't mention that this past weekend was the big one of the year for sports in Australia. Geelong won the AFL grand final. Although considered a bit of a country cousin by Melburnians, and apparently ending a decades long drought for the premiership, they were actually considered odds-on favorites by most punters. They've been in a chase for the lead the whole season, right through the preliminary finals. That's my new favorite oxymoron, by the way.

Also, the Melbourne Storm defeated Manly to win the grand final in National Rugby League.

Guess everyone will just have to hang around now until the Melbourne Cup.

Although for the cricket fans, Australia recently defeated powerhouse Sri Lanka by 10 wickets in 11 overs (kind of like a shut-out). Sri Lankans actually look pretty bad-ass even playing cricket.

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The Super Furry Animals have a new record out with a track called "Baby Ate My Eightball" which sounds like a White Stripes-like song about your doped-up lady friend, but is supposedly about Jude Law's daughter. It's pretty catchy too, but this clip doesn't really do it justice.

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The NY Times has a story today about the newest version of the written test for new citizens. Predictably, people who like immigrants say it's too hard and people who don't like them say it's too easy. Here's the test.

I have to side with the people who think it's too hard, but not for the same reason. I think it's perfectly acceptable for U.S. immigration officials to make the questions center on concepts of democracy and less on historical dates and figures. What I don't like: The questions are poorly worded.

Here's one: "Why does the flag have 13 stripes?"

Well, how existential do we want to get here? It has 13 stripes because the original flag had 13 stripes and the nation's leaders never felt compelled to change it. That's not the answer they're looking for, but it's correct. So is this one: Because 2,173 stripes would be impractical and, mostly likely, ugly.

The way to phrase it: "What do the 13 stripes on the flag represent?"

Another example: "What are two rights only for United States citizens?"

Boy, is this a complicated one. It should specify "...not non-citizens who live in the U.S.?" The Patriot Act and the case of Jose Padilla brought to the fore all kinds of issues involving citizens versus non-citizens. And one of the answers -- "citizens can run for office" -- isn't totally right, because only native-born Americans can run for president.

The world sure has changed since the day in 1982 when my sister and I taught my dad the Pledge of Allegiance on the way to the courthouse to be sworn in as a citizen.
"You say that every day?" he said. "Before class? Can't you just pledge once?" I never thought of it the same way again.

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"It's stoopid blond," her hairdresser called it. What a racist. Some of my best friends are blond(e)s! We're talking tasteful highlights here, not a Madonna root-wash. She claims she's having more fun. Hey, that's a funny one, Dr. No.

Photos when the girl is feeling better.

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The biggest matchup of this weekend's college football won't be between the California and Oregon football teams, but between the bear and the duck.

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DoubleOh and Mrs. Soul edge out Dr. No and me by only a few months. Then Jebus and TSI!, then Slug got his Plantnerd and Elinor her Thinman. Even Old Tom got a Kim! We've learned some lessons along the way -- one, actual marriage isn't required to be old married people. And two, remember the Stephenson life of spoilt milk and chicken bones in the hallway? It don't fly with the ladies.

So it's perhaps most surprising of all that Garmr has been leashed for all of three years today. Perhaps the most untameable of us all, he somehow seems to have found comfortable domestic bliss. You gettin' out of that chair today, Garmr?

Happy anniversary to Leash and Garmr!

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Rumor has it that the KU game is going to be televised at noon on Fox Sports Net. Anybody interested in catching it?

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OSU coach Mike Gundy flipped out on Saturday over a column written by Jenni Carlson.

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A large, hairy Twizzler. A coworker brought in several bags and parked them by my desk. Twizzler Classics. Big, fat ones, too. And the insidious Twizzlers Rainbow Twists, which taste like packets of Kool-Aid, but rubbery.

Stomach say ugh.

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When I was reading this article about Jake Sharp, this paragraph caught my eye:

“The other night I was at Cici’s Pizza and a little kid was wearing a No. 10 jersey. I said, ‘Hey, Kerry, what’s up?’ He looked at me funny. I just said, ‘Never mind. Never mind.’’’

I was like, "what the fuck is Cici's Pizza?"

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While reading about the safety of the Brooklyn Bridge, this sentence caught my eye:

The columns on this bridge have been shored and there is shielding under the concrete to protect against spalling.

I was like, "what the fuck is spalling?"

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My sister has spent the last month living in Malawi helping in a clinic to see whether she'd like to live there following her residency. Here's her latest and last email. The last paragraph is why I love her:

as the good months always do, this month has flown by. i have only tomorrow left here in clinic then am off to zambia for safari before heading back. i am really excited for the safari. everyone says this is the best time since it is the dry season and all the animals congregate at the waterholes. i had a wonderful time this past weekend. i joined a few people working at unc for the year on a trip to the northern part of lake malawi. it was a long drive, but worth it in the end. we stayed in little huts that were built into a cliff and looked over the lake. the restaurant/bar was always full of people both travelers and natives, which was great. sunday captain billy took us on a boat trip. the trip started with feeding the fish eagles. captain billy's brother would load a dead fish onto a stick then toss it right outside the boat. the eagle would then dive from the trees to retrieve the fish....i was quite convinced a couple times that he was flying directly for my head. we then stopped to jump off a cliff before finally landing in a secluded bay where captain billy's home village is. once landed in the bay, we were quickly met by a lot of local children a couple of fishermen just in for the day. captain billy arranged for us to take a couple of the fishing canoes or "dug-outs" on the water for a spin. the dug-outs are literally a tree that has been carved out. you put your feet into carved out area, but balance yourself on top. luckily it was a calm day on the lake so we all managed to stay upright, but it was not easily done. all of that was a great experience, but what made the day really special was meeting and spending the afternoon with the villagers. we could barely communicate with most of them, but everyone is just amazingly friendly and welcoming. we had a blast playing volleyball then a pick up soccer game with the children. finally, captain billy's mom sent down nsima from the village and captain billy cooked a freshly caught butterfish for us on a fire. we then headed back to the hotel for a wonderful traditional malawian meal with the chief of the village.

on the work front, things have continued to be challenging and rewarding. there have a been a lot of deaths without great explanations, which is difficult. one child died this morning of dehydration, which is frustrating. beyond the clinical experience, what has really drawn me to the baylor program is hearing the national influence the baylor physicians are having. the physicians here are very involved in developing national policy for infant diagnosis, prevention of mother to child transmission and nutritional programs for malnourishment. the steps they have made in a short year are very impressive. obviously, there still needs to be some serious thought and discussion before i officially decide, but right now this is at the top of my list of things to do for the next year or two. the program is opening up seven new sites in kenya next year which would provide similar opportunities for national influence that are available here in malawi. we shall see.

i will end with a little shout out to my football playing jayhawks. granted they haven't played a real team yet, but they are 3-0 for the first time in a while. maybe this is the year. :)

erin.

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The NYT has an article about Steve's C-Town, the supermarket that the Guapos and I shop at.

While this may seem like a big deal, it isn't the first time Steve's C-Town has appeared in a major publication. Steve's C-Town was used in the photograph accompanying this Onion article.

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Watched this weekend. Totally, totally bizarre. It's a monster movie that doubles both as a challenge to authority and a family drama. That is, a family drama that finds grieving families funny. But how cool is the scene when the girl tries to escape by jumping on the monster's back? The Anthony Lane review, linked in the first sentence, gets it just about right.

If you do a search for "The Host" on youtube, you also get this:

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Really, really drink.

And Dr. No has friends who are Brits. Friday, they visited.

In other news, Dr. No and I are drying out this month. Dear God.

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Suppose it's true, as the woman claims, that prisons have higher nutritional standards than schools?

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I don't know why you capitalize your HTML. But it's fine. The blog can accept "A HREF=" just like it accepts "a href=".

However.

If you type "A HREf=" (note the mix of cap and noncap) you break the blog.

So stop it.

A case could be made that this is a flaw with the blog, and with the person who runs it. But that case is fallacious, and the person who makes it is probably a pederast.

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From the Forde Yard Dash:

When Hawaii (32) did its pregame haka (a Maori war chant) at Louisiana Tech (33) on Saturday, the result was a 15-yard flag for unsportsmanlike conduct. The Warriors had to open the game kicking off from their own 15-yard line.

Not surprisingly, June Jones (34) was displeased.

"For someone to micromanage outside the NCAA rules, that's not right," Jones told the Honolulu Advertiser.

As the paper pointed out, "The NCAA has rules against unsportsmanlike conduct, but none specifically mentions the haka …" And The Dash thought the NCAA had a rule for everything.

Hawaii began doing the haka before games last season as a "cultural thing," according to its players and coaches. The WAC office received at least one complaint that the haka was done to provoke or intimidate opponents, so the league sent out a notice "encouraging teams not to perform the haka during road games," the Advertiser said. (You think they were talking to Hawaii? Or perhaps Idaho?)

The Dash is all for pregame pageantry and color. As long as the Warriors aren't starting any fights, let them take their haka on the road.

BYU also does the haka, a fact that isn't quite as weird as you'd think.

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We've noted Manhattan Mini Storage's ads a couple of times here on Norlos. The latest campaign, seen in New York's finer subway cars, asks the public whether it wants less-controversial ads. Unsurprisingly, the edgy ads are ahead by a roughly four-to-one margin.

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The NYT has an article today about a study that finds the human genome responds to changes in diet. One line from the article says, "as the human lineage split from the chimp’s about five million years ago and started to live in open woodland, its diet may have expanded to include tubers, corms and the other underground structures in which plants store starch."

When I read this line I was like, "what the fuck are corms?"

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BIGGER, BADDER, BOLDER

THE "2007 MTV VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS" UNLEASHES A NIGHT UNLIKE ANY OTHER PACKED FULL OF HOT, SEXY, UNEXPECTED SURPRISES TO REMEMBER

Justin Timberlake Comes Out The Big Winner Nabbing Four Moon Men With Rihanna Earning Top Honors With Video Of The Year

LAS VEGAS, Sept. 9 /PRNewswire/ -- "Trouble" hit the main stage as Britney Spears channeled "The King's" legendary '68 Comeback in the most important performance of her career at the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards, from the Palms Casino Resort in Las Vegas. Celebrating her long-awaited comeback, Spears commanded the stage with a sultry performance of her new song "Gimme More" featuring a show-stopping extravaganza highlighted by sexy choreography and high-flying aerialists in an appearance that viewers will remember forever.

The biggest night in music was hotter than the Las Vegas desert as performers from every genre celebrated their musical achievements for 2007. This year's show rolled out four new categories: "Male Artist of the Year / Female Artist of the Year", "Monster Single of the Year," "Most Earthshattering Collaboration," and "Quadruple Threat." Justin Timberlake nabbed "Male Artist of the Year" for his incredible year of great videos and performances, as well as "Quadruple Threat of the Year," which honors him for conquering multiple worlds including music, fashion, acting, dancing and more. Fall Out Boy won "Best Group" for their music video "This Ain't A Scene, Its An Arms Race." "Monster Single of the Year" went to Rihanna for "Umbrella," the inescapable hit of the year. Beyonce and Shakira scored a Moon Man for "Most Earthshattering Collaboration" for their video "Beautiful Liar." Fergie triumphed with "Big Girls Don't Cry" winning for "Female Artist of the Year." And one of the biggest awards of the night went to Rihanna who nabbed "Video of the Year" for "Umbrella."

The night was jam-packed with memorable performances and jaw-dropping collaborations including Kanye West and 50 Cent presenting the award for "Most Earthshattering Collaboration" days before their albums compete for the #1 spot on the Billboard charts.

Taking over the Fantasy suites in the Palms Casino Resort, the naughty spectacular continued all night with an eclectic mix of performances to satisfy the taste of all music fanatics from the hardcore head-banging rock fans to the rhyme obsessed hip-hop aficionados.

Fall Out Boy in the Celebrity Suite was the scene of several crazy musical unions that rocked fans, as they performed a remix of "This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race" with Lil Wayne and also teamed up with Rihanna on her hit "Shut Up and Drive." The group also delivered a rocking rendition of "Thnks Fr Th Mmrs." Lead singer Patrick invited buddies Gym Class Heroes on stage to perform their hit single "Clothes Off."

Kanye West showed just how good life can be in the two-story Sky Villa on the top of the Palms Casino Resort overlooking the Vegas strip. He rocked the crowd with his hit "Stronger" then joined Common for "Drivin' Me Wild." Kanye and Soulja Boy teamed up for "Crank That" and televised for the first time ever, Kanye and T-Pain reached new heights with a high octane performance of "The Good Life."

Justin Timberlake and Timbaland were ballin' and partying in the Hardwood Suite with VIP guests 50 Cent as they performed "Ayo Technology." Also, stopping by to heat things up was T.I. with "Big Things Poppin'."

The Foo Fighters tore up the Hot Pink Suite performing their new single "Pretender" and were joined by "metalhead" compadres Queens of the Stone Age and Serj from System of A Down. And performing a new twist on an old favorite, Cee-Lo joined the guys for a unique spin of "Darling Nikki."

Chris Brown blew the roof off the Pearl Theater as he and six dancers showed off their smooth moves dancing across the tables packed with celebrities like Diddy, Kid Rock and Beyonce for an unforgettable performance of "Wall To Wall." He then descended upon the main stage for an inspired homage to the "King of Pop" with a rousing performance of "Billie Jean," made the audience swoon with "Kiss Kiss," and ended with Rihanna for an explosive, never before seen rendition of her smash hit "Umbrella."

The Maestro Timbaland was everywhere running from the Pearl, to the suites, to the Palms nightclub, Rain where his beats started off a surprise performance by Linkin Park as their fans joined in on the crowd favorite "Bleed It Out."

Superstar songstress Alicia Keys stole the show and had the crowd on their feet with an incredible performance of her new song "No One" which transitioned into a soulful rendition of George Michael's classic "Freedom" accompanied by DJ Mark Ronson and a gospel choir.

The night came to a climactic end with a triple mash-up extravaganza from today's musical masters Justin Timberlake, the VMAs Maestro Timbaland and Nelly Furtado. Furtado started things off with "Do It" while Timbaland featuring Keri Hilson sizzled with "The Way I Are." Justin Timberlake took it to a whole new level with "Love Stoned" and then broke it down with his signature hard hitting dance moves culminating with an explosive performance where everyone does the Rick James funk classic "Give It 2 Me."

Producer, artist and DJ Mark Ronson kept the party jumping all night from his DJ booth in the Pearl Theater with his turntables and horn section, along with special guests Akon, Adam Levine and Daniel Merriweather.

And because the show aired one night only, MTV offered viewers unprecedented access and interactivity. After the live broadcast, fans could log onto VMA.MTV.com to catch never-before-seen performances from the Fantasy Suites and moments that didn't make it to the show. Artists performing in the suites started jamming early and went all night with friends and special guest. Viewers could go online to vote for their favorite of those songs which would then make it onto the "Viewer's Choice" remix - a special inspired by viewers' favorite moments airing on September 13 at 6pm (ET/PT).

For the first time ever, MTV Mobile aired a live simulcast of the main show on video-enabled Sprint Vision and Power Vision phones. Artists equipped with Sprint phones - such as Timbaland, Chris Brown, T-Pain, Lil' Mama, Boys Like Girls and even MTV's famed Moon Man - were Twitter-ing (sending text messages) so viewers could follow them during the show - and Twitter back.

Additional remixes airing the days following the live broadcast include the Celebrity Commentary edition featuring artists dishing about all the backstage gossip and their favorite moments from the night, which will air September 11 at 10pm (ET/PT), and another remix that spotlights all the hot performances that aired during the show as well as extended and unaired performances from the Fantasy Suites, Pearl Theater and the VMA pre-show set to air September 15 at 11pm (ET/PT)

The star studded show also included appearances by Diddy, Bill Hader, Sarah Silverman, Kid Rock, Jennifer Hudson, Robin Thicke, Pamela Anderson, Shia LaBeouf, Jamie Foxx, Jennifer Garner, Seth Rogen, Cee-Lo, Megan Fox, Rosario Dawson, Akon, the cast of "The Hills," Nicole Scherzinger, Bill Hader, Eve and from the cast of "Entourage" Adrian Grenier and Kevin Connelly.

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I was just going to CJ Online to see what they have on the Jayhawks today when I noticed that two teams from Topeka will be competing at the 2007 Dr. Pepper Sonic Games, making up a sixth of the field.

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Paul Anka's latest album is composed of rock covers. It's his second take on rock.

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Continuing the collegiate football meme. Or just reveling in the suckitude that is K-State. Or as somebody on YouTube said, "Hey KSU: 1989 called, it wants its promotional video back!"

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There was a a raccoon attack in Prospect Park recently. In other news, raccoons force garage band into the attic.

Update: here's the NY Post story on the attack.

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I wonder if Max feels this way?

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I was in the Great Homeland for the weekend's gridiron action. Good times:

• KU beat Central Michigan, which seems like a big deal only if you remember last year's Toledo shocker.
• Butler County walloped Dodge City 23-0, yet the team was disappointed. We care because Dr. No's brother, Morgan, is Butler's athletic trainer. Dodge City's last opponent rolled them 40-something to 7, so Butler considered the result a near-defeat offense wise. Butler is quite good and sends many of its players to big-time Division I programs. In fact, Morgan was bummed that Michigan got upset by Appalachian State because Butler has an alumnus playing for the Wolverines.

  By the way, if you're at work, do NOT Google Morgan's full name to learn more about him. He's apparently also the 2002 winner of the Miss Nude Australia contest. No, no link for you, sicko.



• K-State put up a respectable show before choking against Auburn. That seems the optimal result: Don't stink up the place, thus sullying the conference's name, but don't win, either

I'm not sure why college football takes up more of my frontal lobe this year than in most others. Newfound Manginuity? Maybe. Sports Illustrated? I've still gotta cancel that thing.

Mostly, I spent Saturday afternoon clearing weeds and brush on the farm, and on trips to the town mulch pile I'd switch the radio between the three games. Dust, sun, sweat and football. It just seemed kinda cool.

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