This kite festival is a lot more hardcore than Kites on Ice.

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This weekend, I attended a wedding in Madison. Perhaps I should have paid more attention to the forecasts; little did I know that my travails would equal that of the Donner Party. On Friday night I was reduced to eating food out of a vending machine. Here is the timeline of my weekend:

2/23/2007

3:30 PM - Got on the F-train to head to LaGuardia

5:30 PM - Flight delayed to 6:55. Called Mr. Guapo twice. Once to comment on the redesign of the WSJ and once to laugh at USA Today's mention of a "computer-aided review." Apparently, the reporter used the Internet to write the story.

8:20 PM - Arrive in Milwaukee.

9:45 PM - Flight delayed to 10:20.

10:50 PM - Circled Madison and waited for snow to break.

10:58 PM - Briefly see lights on the ground. Then they're gone.

11:20 PM - Snow doesn't break and we head back to Milwaukee.

2/24/2007

12:00 AM - We land in Milwaukee.

12:20 AM - Midwest can't find shuttle to take us to Madison. They rebook us and handed out vouchers for a hotel and meal.

1:00 AM - Arrived at the hotel.

1:00 AM to 2:45 AM - Watched Judge Dredd while eating the "Salted Snack Product of the Year".

6:45 AM - Woken up by wakeup call. Repack my suit and other items.

7:30 AM - Left for airport to catch 9:00 flight to Madison.

9:00 AM - Flight delayed to 9:37.

9:37 AM - Flight cancelled. Gate attendant offered people the option of rebooking for a later flight or taking a shuttle to Madison. The folks who were originally booked on the 9:00 AM flight hesitated, but everybody who had spent the night in the hotel said "Shuttle" immediately.

12:00 PM - Arrive in Madison.

2:30 PM to 2:30 AM 2/25/2007 - Participated in wedding activities.

2/25/2007

10:15 AM - Went to a post-wedding brunch.

12:00 PM to 5:30 PM - Slept.

2/26/2007

12:00 PM - Left for airport.

2:25 PM - Departed Madison. Delayed by less than 30 minutes.

3:00 PM - Arrived in Milwaukee. Informed that the flight is delayed untl 6:30.

6:30 PM - Plane pulls away from gate, but we are informed that LaGuardia air traffic control will not allow us to leave until 6:52.

6:52 PM - Pilot made announcement over intercom, "Milwaukee ground control has directed us onto an unplowed taxiway. We need to wait for snow plows."

7:20 PM - The pilot shut off the engines. I'm thinking, "Uh-oh. This is how double digit strandings start. If I'm still here in an hour, I'll call Mr. Guapo."

7:40 PM - Take off.

10:30 PM - Arrived at Laguardia.

10:45 PM - The Q 33 bus shows up soon after I walk out of the terminal.

11:00 PM - The F Train shows up right as I walk down the stairs.

11:15 PM - Subway reaches 42nd street. I know I'll be home before 12:00.

11:55 PM - Walked in my front door.

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Mr. Guapo might be interested to know that the NYT is reporting that a restaurant up 4th Avenue from us is serving pupusas.

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I have argued that the U.S. coddles its kids too much. Last fall the NYT magazine looked at a woman who's making money off this idea.

Thanks to Emily Bazelon for shamelessly linking to another article she'd written in this Slate piece.

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The Onion develops stories in meetings where the writers spout out headlines. You can have a great concept for a story, but unless there's a punchy headline it's not going anywhere. I think this is the greatest secret to The Onion's success; the headline allows people to fill in their own humor. For example, I saw this headline and I laughed at the thought of Mr. Guapo and the UDK.

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The NYT reports on a study by New York City's Independent Budget Office that finds New York citizens bear a higher tax burden than citizens in other major cities. High Medicare costs are a driving force between the high taxes; the study found that without them, NYC's tax burden would be comparable to other major cities.

Meanwhile, over at USA Today, there's an article on "boomerang" seniors. These are individuals from northern states, such as New York, New Jersey and Pennsylvania, who move to active retirement communities in their sixties and return to northern states as their partners die and they need more intensive services. A researcher on this topic says that northern states basically trade their "younger elderly for older Floridians."

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In Foreign Policy, Col. W. Patrick Lang, Jr. tries to cast America's failure in Iraq not only as a failure of the Bush administration, a sycophantic army willing to invade a country with too few troops and not enough equipment, and a gutless Congress, but as a failure of all Americans.

Well, fuck you Col. W. Patrick Lang, Jr. because many Americans raised exactly the points you are raising now before the war but were either shouted down or ignored. If some Americans honestly believed that we would be welcomed as liberators, I would argue that that was because they believed the the other lies of the politicians as well, like there was a connection between Al-Qaeda and S. Hussein or Iraq was in possession of weapons of mass destruction.

The failures in Iraq are only my fault in that I did not do everything in my power to prevent a war that was obviously such a bad idea.

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I'm guessing that the chart accompanying this WaPo article that shows South Korea with 140,000 troops in Iraq is a misprint.

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Unspeak has made me very sensitive to how the definitions of words change over time. For example, the phrase "weapons of mass destruction" was coined during World War I to describe new weapons of unimaginable destructive force: the machine gun and armored vehicles. Now, however, it refers specifically to biological and nuclear weapons for the machine gun and tank are now your weapons of normal destruction.

The NYT has just posted an article under the headline "Iraqi Insurgents Using Dirty Bombs on Civilians." As soon, as I saw it, I thought, "shit...they have radioactive material now." It turns out, however, that the attack did not involve the classic definition of a dirty bomb. Instead, insurgents constructed an improvised chemical weapon by blowing up tanks of chlorine gas.

Does using the term "dirty bomb" to describe this chemical weapon attack signal the expansion of "dirty bomb"'s definition to include any attack made with a device that combines explosives with another substance?

Reading about the effects of chlorine gas gives one a new appreciation for the deadliness of the green dragon.

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Saw this on Phog.net. Spending a lot of time there today because I'm sick and can't figure out how to fix Glimpse. Yes, there's a reason I haven't posted any new photos in a while.

Last time KU lost in Manhattan, Dr. No was nine years old.

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The NYT continues its photographing of unhappy people at tables.

The photograph is from a story about a girl with epilepsy and how her family copes with it. The piece is quite sympathetic and its major failing, in my view, is that it fails to address the issue that advanced maternal age (the mother in the article is 58-years-old with a 6- and a 12-year-old) appears may have at least some neurological impact. Responsible women limit consumption of alcohol during pregnancy to decrease the chance of birth defects, would the responsible thing to do as an older adult be to avoid procreation entirely?

I'm not only suggesting that women abstain from procreating later in life here, studies have shown that advanced paternal age has risks as well.

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They're a main reason for visiting New Hampshire. There's my mom, of course, and my grandmother and Uncle Kip. A trip to New Hampshire means a get together with Kip and his wife, Mary. Which means food and Jack Russell terriers and, natch, Aunt's Mary's Dilly Beans. They're spicy and sour and just plain wonderful.

For a moment, they were also doomed. The crack TSA officials at Boston's Logan Airport sussed out the Mason jar in Dr. No's tote. We'd forgotten about the ban on liquids. The TSA official found the brine suspicious. He took the jar over to two of his compatriots. They put their heads together and discussed. One shook his head. Not good.

Finally he came back. "You can take 'em," he said. Pointing to the other TSA guys with his chin he said, "He said no, but he said yes. So you win." Dr. No said to the guy who said no, "you haven't tried Aunt Mary's dilly beans."

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Since Christian Moody graduated, I haven't had a single favorite college basketball player. Okay, I'm very fond of Mario, Julian, Brandon, (maybe DarrELL) and Kleinman, and I sing "feel for you" to Sasha Kaun. But still, no one Christian Moody-sized favorite.
Until now. Rachel Redick is my woman. She's a great ball player: hopefully going to break a league scoring record, only current player to be voted to the WVIAC history team, and good strong all-around. Of course, everyone likes Rachel, she's short* and attractive, TA's science classes and going to graduate with a real degree. Best of all, she's not one of my student's so I don't have to hold make-up labs for her.
Slug and I are going to the big "Blue-Out" tonight to watch the Pioneers beat (we hope) archrivals snobby private (and very good) University of Charleston. Last year the Lady Pioneers went 30-3: all three losses to UC, one for the east region championship in the division II tournament. The men's game is afterward. We won't stay and watch.

*anything shorter than me is short for a basketball player.

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You know, I just realized that our military involvement in Iraq has gone on longer than our military involvement in World War II. We entered World War II on December 7, 1941 and accepted the unconditional surrender of the Japanese on September 9, 1945 so the United States' involvement lasted three years and nine months. We invaded Iraq on March 20, 2003 and our military operations are ongoing, we've been actively involved in Iraq for about three years and eleven months at this point.

For some reason, I don't think people are going to call us the "greatest generation" because of this.

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People complain about false arrest, assault, excessive force or other wrongdoing by the NYPD under the Bloomberg administration and nothing happens. People complain about parking tickets and Bloomberg caves to a bunch of crybabies.

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While the House talks about Iraq and the Senate does nothing, Arlen Specter said yesterday that the Senate was < A HREF="http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/16/washington/16cong.html">"in real danger of becoming irrelevant."

The way I see it, however, is that, by only considering a non-binding resolution, the Senate has already proven its irrelevance.

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New Yorkers are complaining about the fact that alternate side parking regulations weren't suspended after Wednesday's snow. The people who are complaining and those who got tickets are like kids who didn't do their homework because they were hoping for a snow day. Everybody knew this storm was coming and they had plenty of time to take care of their car before the storm hit. For example, even though I didn't need to move my car until Thursday, I moved it on Tuesday evening as the snow started to fall to a spot where it could sit until the roads cleared.

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Tiki Barber on his retirement:

"The grind took its toll on me and really forced me to start thinking about what I wanted to do next...[t]hat's a good thing, for me at least. Maybe not for the Giants, because they lose one of their great players, but for me, it is," Barber said.

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When I'm up at Lincoln Center, I usually grab lunch at the cafeteria run by Juilliard and the School of American Ballet. The crowd there is always entertaining and resembles cross between a high school cafeteria and a college dining hall. Near me today was a teenage boy with a long mullet and a scraggly teenage attempt at mutton chops and, when I saw him, all I could think was, "oh, god...that's what I looked like to adults when I was in eighth grade."

Since Manhattan is moving kind of slow today because of the snow, I had a nice leisurely lunch there filled with reading and watching the snow fall among the apartment towers of the upper west side.

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The NYT has an article in its science section that eschews global warming horror stories and mentions that Richard Branson's $25 million prize to defeat global warming may hold more promise than trying to cut the world's greenhouse emissions.

While this is an interesting idea, it raises the question: if we can control carbon dioxide levels in the atmosphere, where should it be set? Do we choose the pre-industrial levels of the middle ages or, since human beings may have had even earlier level?

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A recent study has found severe olfactory defects in fruit flies "alters adult metabolism, enhances stress resistance, and extends lifespan."

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So I was taking the one from Lincoln Center back to 42nd street when I really read an ad that I'd seen many times: "Don't let IMPOTENCE ruin your sex life!" This slogan doesn't promise to cure your impotence, it just promises to help you have a great sex life despite your impotence.

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I was glancing through the form 1040 instructions and this paragraph caught my eye:

If your child is presumed by law enforcement authorities to have been kidnapped by someone who is not a family member, you may be able to take the child into account in determining your eligibility for head of household or qualifying widow(er) filing status, the deduction for dependents, child tax credit, and the earned income credit (EIC). For details, use TeleTax topic 357 (see page 8) or see Pub. 501 (Pub. 596 for the EIC).

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Mangino on text messaging:

“It’s a highly peculiar situation where a 50-year old man is text messaging 18-year old guys at 10 o’clock at night,” Mangino quipped.

The article mentions that MAngino actually wore out a phone due to text messaging. My question is why? In my experience most wireless providers allow you to use a computer to send a text message and if Mangion's provider doesn't offer that, he should switch to one that does. Not to mention, you can cut and paste to increase the number of messages you can send.

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In Oregon, a meth user user shot a snorkeler afer mistaking him for a nutria while in Washington, D.C. meth users demand that the U.S. Government address the growing spider menace.

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When I heard Iran's response to the charges that it is supplying Shia militias with explosives, I had to laugh. How can you respond to this charge? t's true.

I'm reading Steven Poole's book Unspeak right now. It's a fascinating look at the way human beings use specific words to frame issues. I don't know if I buy Poole's argument, though, that we should aim to strip unspeak from our language.

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This morning, Slate has an essay that looks at why people love dogs. Really, there's nothing new here other than that I was just thinking about this last night when I realized that I would never be a dog owner. I was walking around alst night when I saw a woman standing next to her dog that was shitting on the sidewalk. When the dog was finished and stood up, she immediately bent forward to pick up the shit. As I watched her, I thought to myself, "man, I never in a million years would ever want to do that."

Speaking of crazy people...

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One of my favorite places for an early afternoon lunch is the Laurelthirst Pub. Kind of hip, but in a comfy way. People here are scruffy and bring their young kids to the bar at 1pm for breakfast(?). The menu is beans and rice-heavy. No red meat or fried food. I had turkey chili and a salad. There is a yellowing framed copy of the Oregonian from the day Nixon resigned mounted on the wall. The heavily tattooed waitress with long hair and sleeveless shirt was looking forward to seeing Neko Case tonight. The scruffy bartender came to take my order and said, "ya got it all figured out, man?".

I like the music too. They have live music at night that tends toward bluegrass and roots music; tonight "Velvida Underground" is playing for $5. In the afternoons they just play CDs. Today there were selections from "The Lounge Below".

Two memes I observed at the Pub that I have been seeing around town. The first is the ironic Nebraska University clothing. A twenty-something dude in ginormous Run DMC-size dark-rimmed glasses, with scraggly but ironically trimmed moustache, too tight red NU t-shirt, and Converse all-stars was eating with his mother (?) who was wearing a tasteful sweater and looked a bit appalled to be eating lunch in a bar. This is not the first or second NU apparel I've observed and so is therefore a trend. In one case the irony was heightened by the NU-wear actually being a bright red sweater. Still worn too tight, however.

Second meme is the bearded lady. Now, as I've mentioned before, I see my share of drag queens around town. But lately I run across a lot of bearded ladies. That's probably not the approved term, but what else to call a person with long flowing dark hair, a high voice, obvious breasts, a floor-length purple velvet dress, and a fu manchu that David Carradine could be proud of? And I meet these people all over...even friends of friends. These are not 50 year-olds that have let themselves go. These are 20's and 30's gals that are just lettin' it all grow out. It seems only a matter of time before I too will be a FOABL. Has anyone else noticed this where you are? I don't recall seeing too many facially hirsute women around when I was a kid, but I can't tell whether that is a matter of time or place. I suspect it's a political statement and if so, it is working, because I am the establishment and I am alarmed and disconcerted.

Everybody else in the Laurelthirst seemed to take it in stride though, so I just mellowed out, man, and ate my chili.

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Today's celebrity sighting. Dr. No smiled at him and he just sneered and looked away -- further proof that he's a freak.

Seen in the West Village after pounding down some bings.

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Last fall, New York Magazine ran an article written by a writer on a calorie restriction diet. For the article, Julian Dibbell tried a calorie restriction diet for two months and had a nice multi-course CR dinner at a long time CR practitioner's house.

This week, Slate ran an article written by a writer on a calorie restriction diet. For the article, Emily Yoffe tried a calorie restriction diet for two months and had a nice multi-course CR dinner at a long time CR practitioner's house.

Compare and...well, compare.

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Slug and I were alluded to as part of a possible record-breaking statisic ("thirteen is stiff competition") in a recent article in the Glenville Pathfinder and Democrat today (scroll down to the last of the headline articles). The on-line version of the paper doesn't do it justice, but you can at least read about the the new florist installing tanning beds and other hard-hitting items. Somehow we escaped being interviewed, but if I pitched "Faculty Couple Walks to Work Even When It's Really Cold" we could be famous (front page!) next week.

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Last night, Mr. Guapo was complaining about having to listen to his Baby Boomer coworkers and their drivel all day. To help him identify the needs and fears of his coworkers, Slate has published a handy guide to the different types of Baby Boomers.

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Just fyi, if you happen to play her. One example: With the board heavily weighted with tiles on one side and totally blank on the other, she asked if we could "bend the rules" and allow her to use a proper name that would open up the board.

"What's the name?"

"Gertie," she said. Name of a friend's dog.

"OK, then."

She spelled it out -- G. U. R. T. I. E. "You know, short for Guuuuurtrude," she said.

My complaint has almost nothing to do with the fact that she beat me by 70 points. Goddamn DETOX...

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Black folks are displacing hipsters in Park Slope and Joe Biden put his foot in his mouth by describing Barack Obama as "articulate". What's been bugging me, though, is the phrase "dignity and grace" and it reached its nadir this weekend with the Super Bowl. If you're a black football coach or player who white folks love (uhh, not so fast, Ray Rhodes) then chances are that you've been described as acting with dignity and grace.

"Dignity and Grace" has been used to describe Tony Dungy and Lovie Smith. The players who integrated the Cleveland Browns acted with dignity and grace. Fans laud Walter Payton for his "dignity and grace." USA Today called Curtis Martin a "study in dignity and grace". Reggie White "carried himself wuth dignity and grace."

Do white people get referred to as having "dignity and grace"? Yes, but they tend to be european soccer players. If I never hear another black athlete or coach described as having "dignity and grace," it will be too soon because it's not only football: in defense of firing Nolan Richardson, University of Arkansas "attorneys said in front of the judges that they offered Richardson a chance to quit quietly - with 'dignity and grace.'"

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Having never been a big haute couture fan, I've been surprised to find that I really love Fashion Week. As a messenger, you could always count on making a lot of money during Fashion Week ferrying press kits for the day's shows and outfits for the evening's parties. The logistics and technical support behind the shows is truly amazing and takes my breath away.

Fashion Week starts about two weeks before the first show. That's when gigantic portable generators, untold boxes of cables, and furnaces begin to show up on West 40th Street. Once the basic infrastructure has been established in Bryant Park, the iconic tents go up.

Once the shows begin, West 40th Street hums with activity as the carefully choreographed dance progresses. As one show ends, the clothing, uneaten food, and the other detritus of the shows flows out to waiting trucks while the clothes, food, & c. for the next show flow in. If Napoleon would have had logistical support of this level, people would be speaking French in Moscow.

Of course, not all of the shows take place in the tents. Right now, the Jill Stuart show is about to start in Astor Hall right outside my office.

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"Boiler Room" was an entertaining a well made movie that focused on a group of young traders trying to hit it big by selling worthless stocks through cold calling and schmoozing. All of the traders were men and the atmosphere in their company was similar to the hyper-masculinity of a lockerroom.

Well, I was just sitting in a meeting with our development office and listening to their stories of cold calling when it hit me: development offices are the feminine equivalent of the boiler room. I mean the basic structures are identical: offices full of young attractive people of a single sex that are constantly hitting people up for money.

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Seems some folks in the neighborhood where Hellx and the Guapos live are writing off The Royale. It's one of the disturbingly high number of Park Slope bars, a hangout for dudes who ride Vespas and a frequent contender as our chosen method of damaging our livers. Apparently, for some people, the presence of young black men complicates matters.

My takeaway from all this: An increasing number of young black men drive Vespas.

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If a is analogous to b, is c akin to d ?

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Who knew? She's alsoa movie star.

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Molly Picon

Meredith Monk

Al Hirschfeld

Joey Adams

Ben Vereen

In other news, I met Toscanini's grandson today.

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$15,342.23

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