Given that I'm extremely susceptible to advertising (why did I ever buy something that's named "Just a Mass of Whirling Blades ®"?), I'm happy that I'm in my 30s since now the federal government is "targeting unmarried adults up to age 29 as part of its abstinence-only programs, which include millions of dollars in federal money that will be available to the states under revised federal grant guidelines for 2007."

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Is it:

A) A lovely abstract with ochre and abalone tones and thick textures, suggesting freedom and flight?

or

B) A throbbing, glistening, gaping, hypersexual call to arms?

DoubleOh and Mrs. Soul disagree. Can you guess who's on which side?

Edit: Here are their efforts to portray the painting. Click for larger version:

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After workers found remains of WTC victims while excavating a manhole, Kurt Horning, a co-founder of WTC Families for Proper Burial asked in Newsweek, "is it ever going to end?" I'm afraid, Mr. Horning, that it's not going to end.

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...off. Also known as "made redundant," along with 10% of the company, apparently. I've joined the ranks of the unemployed... suckling off the teat of "the system" (aka Mr. Guapo). I'm taking it pretty well. I've actually felt for a long time that the job was not challenging me anymore, and perhaps it was time to move on -- that was becoming increasingly apparent. A friend of mine at work even took me out for a coffee and gave me a talking to about how it seemed that I was wasting my life there, and I should get my shit together. However, it is difficult to leave a job that, while a bit underwhelming, had decent benefits, decent pay, decent people working there, and 5 weeks of paid vacation. And, I had nine years invested there -- I wasn't leaving unless they pushed me out.

Well, it was good while it lasted, but for now,I'm making a list of things to occupy my time:

• Not looking for a job
• Managing my investments
• Painting, drawing, photographing
• Cooking/baking
• Reading all of the books I haven’t had time for (have a stack taller than me… which some would say is actually not very many books)
• Writing
• Taking advantage of this great city we live in
• Agitating the government
• Galleries, museums
• Volunteering for various causes
• Hosting dinner parties
• Traveling
• Continuing my Spanish lessons
• Seeing what all the flap about 'The Sopranos' is about..

The list goes on…

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oh-LAY-thuh

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I used to think that OK Go was only OK So-So, but then I saw this video. Fucking great.

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The bear in this case is Mitrofan -- in my opinion, a better name for a preservative than bear.

JC is King Juan Carlos of Spain.

At issue: Is the king a murderer? Was the honey spiked with vodka? The BBC is on the case.

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The University of Wisconsin's chancellor, John Wiley, has pulled an MSU Spartan on the UW marching band and put them on probation because it appears to him that "certain types of sexualized and hazing behavior are an ingrained part of the band's culture." The band's response: "Where You At Wiley?"

The good news is that, no matter what the status of the band is, there will always be the House of Pain at the end of the third quarter since a structural safety review said that Camp Randall was structurally sound despite noticeable swaying in the upper decks.

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NBC is slashing its production budget for dramas and sitcoms and will focus on cheap productions for its 8 PM / 7PM Central time slot. According to the LAT, "NBC's shift means the network probably will spend millions less next spring when ordering pilot episodes for the fall season." In New York, the pain is evident on the streets. I was up on RIverside Drive making a delivery on Wednesday when I overheard a woman saying into her cell phone, "OK the pilot's been cancelled. Where do we go from here?"

In other celebrity news, I recently learned that Maggie Gyllenhaal is now the mother of, I presume, a beautiful baby girl named Ramona when I picked up a package for her at Yoyas.

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Having lived in Lawrence and Boulder (and attended a high school of 3,600), it's sometimes hard to see Glenville as a college town as far as culture goes. We do, however, have live bluegrass at the coffee shop every Friday and, apparently, one of the world's premier euphonium soloists will be here on Monday, according to this recent e-mail.

I just wanted to let all of you know that Neal Corwell, Euphonium Soloist for the United States Army Band, "The Pershing's Own," in Washington, D.C. will be performing FOR FREE this Monday evening at 8 PM in the GSC Fine Arts Auditorium. This is a big deal as he is one of the finest brass players in the country. He is also a leading composer of electronic music. His recitals are usually highly varied as they feature traditional brass, classical and electronic music.

So, now you have something fun to do Monday evening. Come see a fantastic musician who happens to play the most beautiful instrument on the planet!

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The Columbia Journalism Review notes the weather man's favorite saying.

Via The Morning News.

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Today's Papers heaps scorn on the NYT for visiting a Republican fundraiser in Topeka, finding that people there like Cheney, and putting the resulting article on its frontpage. TP does admit, though, that "[t]his patronizing thumbsucker of a story is somewhat redeemed, however, by the inclusion of a 6-year-old girl who is obsessed with Cheney" and points out this kid, too.

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Protests at Gallaudet, the premiere univeristy for the education of deaf and hard-of-hearing individuals, reached a head this weekend with the arrest of 133 protesters. Why are they protesting? That's unclear based on recent articles. Either the newspapers or the protesters are doing a bad job at communicating what is so abhorrent about Fernandes to the Gallaudet community. Fernandes, who grew up deaf in a speaking environment and did not learn ASL until the age of 23, says she's "not deaf enough" for the students. The students and faculty claim that Fernandes lacks "leadership qualities." This NYT article from last spring is a good primer on the issues at Gallaudet.

Fernandes want to make Gallaudet more accomodating to all individuals with hearing impairments, not just members of the Deaf community. As a member of the hearing community, this strikes me as a reasonable approach given that we are in an era where technology is changing deafness. Fernandes has also been criticized for not banning students from speaking to each other in front of deaf students. Assuming that deafness is a cultural identity, I view banning speaking between students at Gallaudet as analogous to another university banning Chinese students from speaking Chinese with each other. I sympatize with the students and faculty of Gallaudet, because cultural shifts can be hard and, as institutions change, it often feels like something has been lost.

Though I have always loathed serious college activists (preferring Stephenson's inactivists, fighting for the right to do, ehhh, you know...) and hate to see them win, I can't see any course of action other than Fernandes' resignation. While I find the arguments from protestors about Fernandes' lack of leadership rather nebulous, five months of increasingly volatile protests is a pretty clear statement on her inability to lead Gallaudet.

Note: The headline quote comes from this WaPo article. In addition, most of these thoughts are based on mainstream media articles, the iaccuracy and mpartiality of which has been disputed. Here's an informative blog post about the protests.

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Thanks to Carlos's updates, I noticed a couple of new comments over on the sidebar and followed the link to see what they were about. Wow. I mean... holy cow. Does anyone in college do their own research any more? Never mind - that was rhetorical - I used to follow some groups on USEnet News and it's been like this for a while. I guess I was just surprised to see a college paper-worthy topic on Norlos. Not only that, but a topic that's been paper-worthy consistently since 2003.

It's not just amazing to me that all these people think some random blog poster would go to the trouble of compiling and sending each of them, individually, this Master List of Failed US Products (most notably in India for some reason) - it's more amazing that I can't find a single one who gave an email address. They'll let anyone on the internet these days.

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WSJ column today describes a time when up to 80% of Americans voted. What happened? Voter registration is part of the story -- there was a time when you didn't have to do much beyond showing up on election day. But there's another element -- we just don't party like it's 1884:

Election day was rowdy and festive, a thrilling climax to a political campaign that featured bonfires, barbecues, parades, torchlight rallies and passionate oratory. Politics were social and recreational at a time when there wasn't much other public entertainment. More than 20% of people were actively involved in campaigning. "Political matters were not complex, intangible and remote, but simple, concrete and directly related to the concerns of daily life," wrote Paul Kleppner in his 1982 book, "Who Voted?"

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Friday night, the Cards were down 6-4 and it felt like their postseason was slipping away. The Cards got a couple runs in the seventh to tie the game and then, in the ninth, got an improbable homerun from 37 year-old So Taguchi.

The unlikeliness of Taguchi, who hit only two homeruns during the entire regular season, hitting a homerun to lead off the ninth immediately recalled for Cardinal fans Ozzie Smith's homerun to lead off the ninth iagainst the Dodgers n the 1985 NLCS. Ozzie Smith, who, in over 3000 at-bats as a left-handed hitter, had never hit a homerun, nailed one to break a 2-2 series tie and, eventually led the Cards to the pennant.

After So Taguchi's homerun in Friday's game, and with fans thinking there was no way the Cards could top that, the freaking pitcher slugs a homerun on Saturday.

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You can stop trying, K-Fed. There's a gifted individual out there who has distilled the essence of douchebag. He is the douche around whom lesser douches gather. He is the Platonic ideal of douchebaggery.

Douches: His name is Aleksey Vayner, and he is your lord.

This young man has become the talk of Wall Street -- one hedge fund manager told a financial wire service he's personally responsible for a two-hour slowdown in trading -- ever since his application for a job at an investment bank was leaked to the public at large. The personal web site that hosted the video is now down, but some smart person encased it in YouTube's preserving amber.

It didn't take long for the Internet to explore the true extent of his douchebaggery. And it didn't take long for him to prove it. Just wow.

IvyGate and DealBreaker made this post possible.

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Last weekend, Jebus, TSI!, Little C, and I went to a pick-your-own-apple orchard in Warwick, NY. When we got to the farm, and saw that a bag of apples cost $16.50, we said, "fuck that," parked the car, and simply gorged outselves (well, myself) on apples. While we weren't suckered into overpaying for apples, I did buy a jar of pumpkin butter and strawberry-rhubarb preserves for $9.50.

Today, Slate weighs in on pick-your-own orchards.

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.

Still, I always suspected it was a matter of time before everybody in the neighborhood had one. They're all the rage.

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Since Fox Sports in New York was showing the Hofstra-Villanova game instead of the horribly painful KU game (and Hofstra just hasn't been the same since Wayne Chrebet left), TSI! and I went to a garden party/yard sale in Jackson Heights. When an older woman commented on the beautiful baby Caroline with her parents, I replied with, "I ain't the baby daddy." As much as TSI! wants to be talked about drinking with a strange man while her neglected child ate grass, I think her neighbor thought I was one of her brothers.

In other yard sale news, I passed up a chance to buy a Dolly Parton doll for $5 in an attempt to cut down on the percentage of my income that is spent ironically.

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This week's winner for quality headline in our local weekly. But the best story follows:

T. Boone Pickens, the Texas billionaire and part owner of many companies, was rumored to be touring Gilmer County recently.

According to Internet sources, Glenville is still being considered for this.

Um, sure.

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The apartment that I'm living in right now is the perfect size for a couple, but it's set up wrong for two guys who aren't in a relationship. Little things get on your nerves. My roommate has a chronic cough from allergies. It annoys the hell out of me. I'm sure that I have some habits that annoy the hell out of my roommate. One is probably the fact that I listen to WFAN 24-7.

I've never been a big fan of sports talk, but WFAN is great (here's their history). They have a great mix of new callers and knowledgeable regulars and wonderful hosts.

While WFAN is the radio home of the NYMets (the NY area team that I follow), the talk tonight isn't about the Mets weird win today, but about the the Yankees cancellation and why MLB had the fans sit in the rain for hours before the game was officially cancelled.

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Is this a great political scandal or what?

So the thinking in some circles now is that the conservative base of the Republican Party will go after the real scandal in their ranks -- many in the House may have lost their man-ginity, if youknwowhatImeanandIthinkyoudo. That's right: In the heart of the most conservative political body in Washington, a gay fifth column! Since we know America is under assault by homosexuality from all four of the other directions.

What's a fifth column? The term was coined by a Nationalist general during the Spanish Civil War, when he declared that his supporters in Madrid represented a fifth column as four other columns of soldiers moved in on the city. I would love to say I know this because I'm totally up on the Spanish Civil War. In truth, I know it as a reference to the friendly lizards in the science fiction epic miniseries V.

The possible Republican purge seems predicated on the notion that gay people are child molesters -- a statement about as logical as the proof that Ray Charles is God. Still, this could be a lot of fun to watch. Who's your money on? How good is your legislative gaydar? My money's on this guy.

By the way, wondering what happened to Foley's House web site?

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Praise be to the gods of programming scripts!

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