So, I just saw a commercial with Erik Estrada trying to sell real estate in Arkansas. He claims that it's a great investment. All I could think of was...Whitewater!

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One staple defense of creationists against the Carbon-14 dating method that can date items as older than the date given for the creation of the Earth in the Bible has been that this method is inaccurate. Well, whaddaya know? They were right!

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That's my offer-rejection-no hear tally on the job search. It's not unusual. It is frustrating.

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Intones Frank Bruni, the Gray Lady's restaurant critic, regarding America's favorite family dining establishment:

Hooters had more television sets than any sports bar I'd ever visited. All of them were tuned to sports channels. Customers drank sports bar drinks, by which I mean beer.

They ate sports bar food: Buffalo shrimp, Buffalo chicken wings, Buffalo chicken Caesar salads, Buffalo chicken breast sandwiches, hamburgers, cheeseburgers, Philly cheese steak sandwiches, quesadillas. Plastic containers of ranch dressing and blue cheese kept popping up.

In the men's restroom, on the walls, newspaper sports pages were posted.

All this suggests Frank Bruni has never watched a college basketball game in a bar in the Midwest. It's the kind of thing that usually sends Dr. No on a rampage, like the time the Times wrote about people in Nebraska drinking capuccino. Then again, what doesn't set off Dr. No?

Thanks to Gawker, which spread the love while pointing out a funny and unlikely sign in the window of the late lamented Second Avenue Deli.

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"Sergeant's(R) Doggie Bad Breath Contest" Event Highlights National Pet Dental Health Month

OMAHA, Neb., Feb. 20 /PRNewswire/ -- Sergeant's(R) Pet Care Products, Inc., a leading supplier of pet care products, held its second annual "Sergeant's Doggie Bad Breath Contest" Saturday in an effort to promote February as National Pet Dental Health Month.

Nationally renowned pet journalist and dog behavior consultant Steve Dale of Chicago served as a celebrity judge, along with representatives of Sergeant's and the Nebraska Humane Society.

The judges endured several rounds of smelling dog breath before ultimately crowning "Liza," a 9-year-old Brittany spaniel, the winner of the stinking contest.

For having the most offensive breath, "Liza" received a year's supply of Sergeant's DentaFresh(R) products. The first and second runners-up received gift baskets containing DentaFresh and other Sergeant's products.

"Finally, I met a dog whose breath is louder than its bark," says Dale, who also writes a syndicated newspaper column and hosts two syndicated radio shows about pets. "While we had fun here today, I hope the message is to do something so you can accept a wet dog smooch without cringing or needing a clothespin. And you can do something. For starters, you can brush your pet's teeth. It really will matter -- not only to your sensibilities, but to the long-term health of your best friend."

"We felt the contest would be a fun way to highlight National Pet Dental Health Month and bring attention to oral disease among pets, which is definitely no laughing matter," says Joel Adamson, spokesman for Sergeant's.

According to the American Veterinary Dental Society, oral disease is the number one health problem diagnosed in dogs and cats, affecting approximately 80 percent of dogs over the age of three. If not treated, oral infections can spread throughout the body, shortening the life of a dog by as much as five years.

"With DentaFresh you get triple teeth cleaning power: ductile texture to rub teeth; patented inclusions to scrape teeth; and active ingredients to help reduce tartar, plaque and the unpleasantness of 'doggie breath,'" says Adamson.

Sergeant's Pet Care Products, Inc. is a leading supplier of pet supplies including flea and tick remedies, health and well-being products, natural and formulated treats, rawhide chews, toys and accessories.

More information and photos of the contest are available at www.sergeants.com.

SOURCE Sergeant's Pet Care Products, Inc.

/CONTACT: Joel Adamson, Senior Vice President, Marketing of Sergeant's Pet Care Products, Inc., +1-402-938-7050, jadamson@sergeants.com

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Now's your chance, all you movie and music lovers. I need to find some resources for two assignments in library school. And I want them to kick ass! I need fabulous suggestions for online music websites that have any or all of the following: news, reviews, criticism, record label sites, or discussion forums...but they must be appropriate for teens. I am also putting together a "Top Ten Collections" for film databases, such as IMDb, that independent video store employees or customers would find helpful to use. Any good ideas?

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Scroll to the picture for the recently shorn look.

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I've been given a unique opportunity and I need some guidance. First the background. 1. Sperm banks and hospitals are not the same. 2. When one attempts insemination, one may be responsible for transportation of sperm from bank to hospital. 3. This transport is accomplished by storage of the frozen sperm in liquid nitrogen in a small tank. 4. This tank is then strapped into the car in a seatbelt and driven to and from stated facilities. 5. I know a lesbian couple that are currently in the midst of this process, requiring regular transport and care of said tank o' sperm regularly. 6. Upon learning of this situation, my natural first question was, "What kind of music do you listen to while driving around, 'cuz two women in a car with a tank of sperm in the back TOTALLY needs a bitchin' soundtrack." 7. They have given me the distinct honor of being allowed to prepare said soundtrack. 8. Oh yeah, and I've been designated an appropriate adult male role model, should the need arise. Longtime Norlos readers will surely find that irony delicious.

So, I'm taking suggestions. Here are my ideas so far:

Ride of the Valkyries - Wagner
Been Caught Stealing - Jane's Addiction
Flashlight - Parliament
Small Portion Of Your Love - Sam and Dave
Here Comes Your Man - Pixies
Jungle Boogie - Kool and the Gang
Heya - Outkast [What's cooler'n bein' cool?]
Ramblin' Man - Allman Brothers
Voodoo Child - Jimi Hendrix
Blue Danube Waltz - Strauss [Think the space docking scene from 2001]

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Here are my entries:

Shot a man in Travis County, just to watch him pick pellets outta his cheek.

You go to hunt with the buddies you've got, not the ones you want.

It's allright! We shoot each other in the head all the time!

And a question for all the hunters in the house, uh, garmr...is the phrase "peppered" a term d'art for quail hunters, or is the political machine trying to find a word that sounds more like seasoning your steak than shooting an elderly man in the head?

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From the front page at espn.com comes this "breaking news" item:

Snyder Steps Down At Missouri
Quin Snyder's up-and-down tenure at Missouri is over. ESPN has learned that Snyder has resigned as men's basketball coach after six-plus seasons. Assistant coach Melvin Watkins will take over the 10-11 squad.

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Jesus Christ this is weird.

Fucking MeFi again.

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Sometimes the title says it all.

Thanks, I think, to MeFi.

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The Morning News linked to a story from the Minneapolis/St. Paul city pages how about freeway-exit ramp beggars answered four questions. This is amazingly similar to the episode of "Yes, Dear" titled "The Radford Reshuffle".

In this episode, Greg's boss, Mr. Savitsky (aka Gus from "Get a Life"), is fired and Greg quits his job in solidarity. Giving up his life as a movie studio bigwig, Mr. Savitsky starts volunteering at a soup kitchen. Greg goes there with his brother-in-law Jimmy, who recognizes the beggar from their freeway-exit there. When he sees him, Jimmy goes and asks the beggar (played by Rupert Boneham!) some questions, including:

• Why did you choose our exit ramp?

• What's the difference between a drifter and a bum?

• Who do bagladies prefer: hobos, drifters or bums?

Last week, the NYT had a story about the "Yes, Dear" writer who developed "My Name is Earl".

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It's a modest little flick about time travel and it's totally blown my mind.

Hellx and I consulted the Web (explanations here, here and here) and the best justice can be done to it with broad points:

• Four guys are moonlighting as inventors trying to come up with an invention that makes money. Their leader, a guy named Aaron, is especially keen to make money. This is important
• Two of them, Aaron and Abe (yes, odd, no?), figure out that their latest invention lets them travel through time
• Actually, that's not quite right. Their invention will deposit you at the exact point in time in which it was turned on. It doesn't move through time. Time moves past it. I think.
• They use it to make a lot of money
• They start playing "what-if"
• The "what-if" gradually gets out of control, as Abe increasingly realizes Aaron is using it to amass greater power and prestige
• This is a good time to mention that, because of the back and forth, they spend a lot of time trying to avoid meeting copies of themselves
• Then, though at different points, they realize that they're each talking to copies of the other, as they move back and forth in time to gain power over one another

I think. Sometime soon I'm going to watch it again.

But even though I still don't get it, it's still a pretty choice flick, because the time travel stuff is also beside the point. It's really about two friends who learn that neither is willing to give up power over the other. There's a great line, too: "What's worse, thinking you're being paranoid or knowing you should be?"

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Here's how today's NYT article about NY gubernatorial candidate William Weld appears on his website:

As William F. Weld runs for governor of New York this year, his campaign has a positive message.

Mr. Weld, a former governor of Massachusetts, is the leading Republican candidate for governor. He is ahead of his three rivals in fund-raising and influential Republican leaders have endorsed him.

Spitzer's campaign is threatening critics of his.

Yesterday, more than 20 news articles and editorials were wholly positive about Mr. Weld.

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This photo of Israeli troops clashing with Jewish settlers strikes me as being more medieval than 21st century.

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