Following the double whammy of the lapse of the assault weapons ban and President Bush’s rise in the polls, Dr. No has increased her estimate of the portion of the population that belongs to the Retarded-American community. Once 60%, she has upped her estimate to 80%.

Discussing this subject always makes me think of the band Retarted Elf. Because there’s a big difference between “retarded” and “retarted.” We were at a club in Corpus Christi a few years back when Retarted Elf delivered the news of the loss of Princess Di. “She was a classy lady!” the singer intoned. Then the band broke into a thrash number called “South Side.”