My neighbor Jacob, with whom Mr. Guapo and I drank old-fashioneds when he was in town, had good things to say about the movie “Dead Snow.”

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Somebody used the phrase on Phog.net this week to describe Xavier Henry’s apparently slippery commitment to play for Kansas. I’ve never heard it before, and I love it.

If it’s new to you to, it means something has devolved into a total clusterfuck. Or as Urban Dictionary says, “the most polite term used by aviation people (and others in higher risk situations) to describe a scenario that requires about 100 things to go right at once if you intend to walk away from it.”

The phrase leaves me with a mental image of rodeo grounds in ruins, the ground thick with wandering, bleating goats, and a rodeo clown, sitting mud-covered in the center, crying.

Like all good band names, it’s been taken.

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My next door neighbor is going back to school and so she got a two bedroom apartment in Prospect Heights so she could save money with a roommate. I’m tired of the grit and trash that blows off the BQE and Prospect Expressway and living in the basement.

We were hanging out on the stoop on Monday night before she moved and she said, you should totally be my roommate. Beery hellx was like, “Yeah! Awesome!” Sober hellx was like, “Ummm…maybe. Where is it again?” Decisive hellx was like, “Fuck this, I’m out.”

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Vibe is dead.

Sanford describing his affair as “…a whole lot more than a simple affair, this was a love story. A forbidden one, a tragic one, but a love story at the end of the day,” is kind of icky and melodramatic, but it’s also the best defense I’ve heard from a politician for an affair in a long time.

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(NSFW unless you’re wearing headphones)

I learned about Garfunkel & Oates through dsicussion about Hannah Rosin’s “The Case Against Breast Feeding” when this video was namechecked. I think it would be really cool to learn the ukulele.

The End.

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The FDNY has a pretty cool series of videos about what they do.

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The recent opening of the High Line got me to thinking about Patrick Mimran’s billboards. Finding that post from three years ago, led me on a little walk down the norlos memory lane that included this post from Mr. Guapo about Ze Frank.

It’s no secret that that Time is in trouble and is looking for a new model to succeed in today’s media environment. It was with great enjoyment, then, that I discovered today via TMN that Time has turned to Ze Frank to save its sorry hide. It would be easy to mock a staid publication such as Time for turning to Ze Frank except for the fact that, after watching his video, I really understand the political situation in Iran for the very first time.

Compare today’s High Line park with TMN’s 2001 visit to the High Line.

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After being on the business end of a right hook from Will.i.am’s manager, Perez Hilton traded punches with John Mayer on Twitter. The knockout blow comes when Mayer hits Hilton with this: now you sit down behind that Tandy computer and you hash out a Doogie diary. Be sure to pause, think, and keep typing.

Breaking out the Tandy smack strikes me as a lot like telling a little league ballplayer he throws like a girl.

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The big news around Brooklyn, and New York, is the collapse of a building on Myrtle Avenue. I know the block because it’s home to one of my faves: a mexican combo restaurant. In this case it’s La Stalla, an Italian/Mexican hybrid.

Across the street is Sapolo, a Chinese-Spanish combo restaurant. It’s oh so tantalizingly close to my favorite, the Chinese/Mexican restaurant, but unless it says “Mexican” or “Tex-Mex”on the sign, it doesn’t count.

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Barry Ritholtz, the author of Bailout Nation, recently created this graphic comparing the recent expenditures in response to the economic crisis to historical expenditures. I have a couple of thoughts about this:

• Number one, I think books on the United States’ response to the economic crisis will be the next bubble.

• Number two, we’ve chosen our course of action, but we won’t be able to accurately assess whether this course of action was the optimal or near-optimal strategy for a long, long time.

• Number three, while the current expenditures are greater than historical expenditures, even in today’s dollars, the economy today is much larger.

Take the Savings and Loan crisis, for example. According to Ritholtz, the federal response to that crisis cost $256 billion in current dollars. However, if you compare the GDP of the US in 1989 to today’s GDP, this $256 billion expenditure would have been 3.7% of the GDP in January 1989 versus 2.25% of the the GDP in January 2009. I don’t know how useful it is to focus on gross dollar amounts when the economy’s size has changed so much over the history of the United States.

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Ladder 101 from the Red Hook Raiders.

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You all must remember from college that I’ve been a computer gamer for a long time. Lately, real life has been seriously cramping my gaming styles. Gradually, I’ve shifted focus away from the epic multi-month sagas and toward games that are quality and DENSE with content, ideally ones that are playable in small segments of time since I don’t get to spend all day Sunday gaming any more. I’ve just started playing a new one that I’m really enjoying so I thought I’d post about it and another game of similar mind-bending quality.

First: Portal.
If you haven’t heard of it, it’s a “first person shooter” but without the shooting. Well, you get shot at but you don’t have any weapons of your own. It’s a diabolical puzzle game played through the first person interface. It was produced by Valve, the company that makes the Half Life series. Valve has an online game distribution system (Steam) so you can get it online and download it (broadband required - it’s LARGE) and don’t have to buy it at a store. I think it’s about 20 bucks and it will make your brain melt. In a good way. Really REALLY good game. There’s also a free demo available if you want to try before you buy.

Second: Braid
This is a “platformer” (like Mario Brothers - running side-to-side, jumping over things and onto platforms), but as with Portal that’s just the foundation. The game is really all about time manipulation. In addition to running and jumping, the game has introduced a “go back in time” button. This is used to rescue yourself (instead of dying and starting over) but is also required to solve most of the puzzles in the game. The puzzle design is really innovative and challenging. I’m not an arcade game type of guy, so I find the “platformer” part difficult, but it’s still not impossible even for me. The real challenges are the puzzles which range from instructive (“I’m going to show you a new trick you can do with time”) to clever (“Now let’s see if you can figure out how to use the trick in new ways”) to just plain mean (“Now that you think you get it, try THIS”). Braid was produced by an independent game designer (it’s an “indie” game) with the aid of some outside help for art and music (which merit links of their own). The game is available on Steam (the Valve online store I mentioned above) and from a few other places, too, for 15 dollars. I bought mine at Greenhouse after downloading and playing the demo, which is also available at that Greenhouse link. This game is available for Mac and Windows both.

Finally, on a completely different topic, I thought I’d leave you all with some music.

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Mike came to visit us in Wichita and we’re pleased to report he’s alive and well. The details:

• In honor of his favorite band, he has changed his name to “Stanch Malefic.”
• He’s got the tattoo to prove it.
• When he showed up, he had in the passenger seat Warren Buffett, passed out and drooling, his feet surrounded by empty Robitussin bottles. Apparently Mr. Malefic and the WB stopped in Topeka on the way down and had themselves a very large time.
• How did he meet the Sage of Omaha? It happened over the past three years. He wasn’t terribly specific on the details, but it had something to do with the merchant marine, a Ukrainian prostitute and some dive bar in Guam.
• Did you remember he had a clubfoot? Neither did I.
• New hobbies? Three words: Slavic folk dances. (Awkward, you know. Clubfoot.)
• In addition to a sack of clothes and Mr. Buffett, he also brought with him several gallons of chemicals in clear plastic jugs. Once he showed up he asked for a bathroom with a tub, then disappeared, murmuring something about “creating life.”
• Obama sticker on his car. Now that’s Change I Can Believe In!

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The unofficial tally of the local mayoral votes are in, and it looks like a write-in candidate with 56 votes beat another write-in candidate with 55 votes and the candidate actually on the ballot (43). This is the first time my vote in a governmental election has “counted”* in the sense that it was pivotal in determining the outcome of the election. I think it is a product of the race at hand, but this does not make me feel proud for exercising my civic duty; rather I feel uncomfortably responsible for the mayor.

*We’ve had a previous discussion on this forum as to how unlikely this is and, to me, at least, wanting to be a vote that matters misses the point of voting.

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Well, Plantnerd and I finally managed to really make a difference in an election. Our city held elections for mayor and town council. The mayor position was widely contested with one candidate on the ballot and 2 write-in candidates. One of the write-in candidates is a student at our college and ran a strong campaign that included tee-shirts at graduation, yard signs throughout town and bribes of bookbags and pens to the professors (and maybe more). Who knows what sort of campaign finance laws were violated? Well, with a grand total of 20% of the registered voters voting, the student received 56 votes versus 55 votes for the other writeiin candidate and 43 votes for the person on the ballot. So with a mandate of 8% of the registered voters, we have new leadership in our town!

Sometimes it feels great to be part of democracy in action!

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On a sunny Thursday afternoon last month I snuck out of work to go to a Royals game. Zach Greinke was on the mound. When my son, Justin, got home from school, I called him to brag about the fact that I was sitting in the 7th row about 1/3 of the way from home to third base. When I got home I continued to brag about being there while he was in school. I shouldn’t have done that because baseball karma bitchslapped me last night.

My mom took Justin to the T-Bones game (they’re the single-A minor league team in KCK). It was Emporia State Alumni Night at Community America Ballpark, and as the young guest of an ESU alum, Justin got to run out onto the field with the shortstop, Mark Minicozzi, as the lineup was announced. Lucky &^@%#&%!!!

In the 7th inning, he got a foul ball. Lucky &^@%#&%!!!

Then in the bottom of the 9th with the bases loaded, two outs, and the T-Bones trailing by 1, he got to see a walk-off grand slam. Lucky &^@%#&%!!!

Sigh…at least I got to drink beer at my game.

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