Attn: President/CEO
REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP
Firstly, I must solicit your confidentiality. Though I know that a
transaction of this magnitude will make anyone
apprehensive and worried, but I am assuring you that
all will be well at the end of the day. A bold step
taken shall notbe regretted I assure you.
I am Mr. Nelson Philips. and I head a seven man tender
board in charge of contract awards and payment
approvals. I came to know of you in my search for a
reliable and reputable person to handle a very
confidential business transaction, which involves
the transfer of a huge sum of money to a foreign
account requiring maximum confidence.
My colleagues and I are top official of Federal
Government Contract Review and Award Panel. Our duties
include evaluation, vetting and approval for payment
of contract jobs done for the Federal Ministry ofAviation(FMA) etc.
We are therefore soliciting for your assistance to
enable us transfer into your account the said funds.
Our country looses a lot of money everyday that is why
the international community is very careful and
warning their citizens to be careful but I tell you "a trial will convince you".
The source of the fund is as follow: During the last
military regime here in Nigeria, this committee
awarded a contract of US$400 Million to a group of
five construction firms on behalf of the Federal
Ministry of Aviation (FMA)for the supply and
installation of landing and navigational equipment in
Lagos and Port - Harcourt International Airports.
During this process my colleagues and I decided among
us to deliberately over inflate the total contract
sum of US$428 Million with the aim of sharing the
remaining sum of US$20.5 million.
The government has since approved the sum of
US$420.5Million for us as the contract sum, but since
the contract is only worth US$400M the remaining
US$20.5Million is what we intend to transfer to a
reliable and safe offshore account,we are prohibited
to operate foreign account in our names since we are still in Government.
Thus, making it impossible for us to acquire the money
in our name right now, I have therefore been delegated
as a matter of trust by my colleagues to look for an
oversea partner into whose account we can transfer the sum ofUS$20.5Million.
My colleagues and I have decided that if you/your
Company can act as the beneficiary of this fund on our
behalf, you or your company will retain 20% of the
total amount (US$20.5Million) while 75% will be for us
(officials) and the remaining 5% will be used in
offsetting all debts/expenses incurred during this
transfer.We have decided that this transaction can
only proceed under the following condition
(a) Our conviction of your transparent honesty and
that you treat this transaction with utmost secrecy and confidentiality
(b) That upon Receipt of the funds you will release
the funds as instructed by us after you've removed
your share of 20%. Please acknowledge the receipt of
this letter using the above e-mail address. I will
bring you into the transaction when I've heard from you.
Your urgent response will be highly appreciated as we
are already behind schedule for the financial quarter.
Please do be informed that this business transaction
is 100% legal and completely free from drug or money laundering.
Only trust can make the reality of this transaction.
Best regards,
Nelson.
Hi Mr. Philips,
My name is Jeremy Lavine and I am the person who can help you transfer the money.
Since we are going to be working together to transfer the funds let me tell you a little bit about myself and then maybe someday, maybe tomorrow, or maybe some other day like a week from the Saturday after next, or maybe Easter, or maybe we can meet on Easter Island and then you can tell me a little bit, or maybe a lot, or maybe just some stuff about yourself like where you grew up and what you like to do for fun. I go to what we call the seventh grade in the US but I have my own bank account and everything which was established with the assistance of my parents some time ago so transferring money to and fro, back and forth, hither and thither, shouldn't be a problem for me. In fact I do this sort of thing all the time, for example there are some times when a certain party, and I will not name names, unless you want me to, a certain party, and by party a mean a person, I think it's a legal term, but I'm not sure, maybe you would know? if you're a lawyer? so if in this sort of case
a certain party (PERSON, NOT LIKE A PARTY PARTY WITH MUSIC AND DANCING AND STUFF) need assistance with some money, like that party (PERSON) was lacking in all funds (MONEY, and NOT THE OTHER KIND OF FUNDS WITH THE FIR AND ROCKS AND STUFF) then I could help them out. But I was going to say something else about myself.
I am honest and trustworthy. I even looked up some things about your country. For example, did you know that Zimbabwe used to be called Rhodesia? And before it was called Rhodesia it was called Johannesburg. And before it was called Johannesburg it was called Morocco. But that was before Napoleon lost the Persian Wars to Teddy Roosevelt. Before Teddy Roosevelt it was called the Yucatan Peninsula. And before that I think it was called Hoboken. Hoboken is an Indian word. I do not speak Indian, but if I had to guess what Hoboken meant, I would think it meant something like "The weather is hot today" or "what do you want for Christmas?" Maybe we will never know what Hoboken means. I am pretty sure there are no more Indians in Africa, but since you live there you can probably fill me in. Are there any Indians there? I have a disease called ADD. Do not confuse this with any innate lack of ability on my part to perform basic arithmetic, which I assure you I can do quite well. ADD
is a euphonium, which means it stands for something, which means that each letter in ADD stands for a different word. In this case, A stands for attention, the first D stands for Deficit, which means a lack of something and so on. Is Zimbabwe an island? Islands are inactive volcanose. Mostly they are inactive volcanose. This means that the deep gods within the earth's core have had their fill of human sacrifice. But woe unto the island where there is not enough human sacrifice! Then the gods in the earth's core will become angry and all will die.
In conclusion, I look forward to working with you. I hope Zimbabwe is not an island, or if it is an island, I hope there are no angry gods in Zimbabwe. If there are angry gods in Zimbabwe I suggest you move, since in that case therefore all will die on the island of Zimbabwe, which used to be called Hoboken when the Indians lived there. The Indians ate corn, but they called it maize. They ate maize in Hoboken, which is now the Doomed Island of Zimbabwe.
I hope this finds you in good health and I look forward to hearing from you.
Jeremy Lavine