The original letter has been lost. Unfortunately for the eager Mr. Suleman, it wound up in the incapable hands of Mr. Laszlo Novotny, who responded thusly:

Dr. Suleman, fine sir

You not know me, as of yet, and no my English it is not so good but better than was. Cousin of mine see your letter how you need money help. I can help. Please to be of help!

Mr Dr. Suleman, sir, I am most honest man and would love to help this transactions of yourse. Please, just say, what need I do? I live now in United States but originally citizen of Prauge where I was famous poet and artist under communist regime. Now iron curtain has fallen and so have my fortunes. Perhaps some poetry of mine you have read? I am Laszlo Novotny! Some of you in your country must know of me. Once, very famous, was I. Most famouousous poem was "HI! I am WInston!" in translation of English languaggwe.

Now i work in US for International LIbrary of Poetry as translator and critic, so I make good salary (about one half of one half of one millions dollards). Every year convention we have, in Holly Wood CA and it is much fun and laughing ands there be many poets there but some not so good! I want to return to Czech homeland and the monys I get from out business transactions will this enable me to do!

I hope to have caught your ear with this message and want to have the hearing of you soon so we can enter into the business together.

Please, let me have the hearing of you soon!

Your friend best in weather,

Laszlo Novotny

No response. Then Dr. Suleman sends a quick notice requesting more information.

What more information is it you are requiringgg? I have said who I am and how I founde out about you and what I want to do is help with the moneys,.

No response. So Laszlo writes Again!

Dear sir Mr. Dr. Suleman sir--

Why you ignore my message when I say I want to help I am man for the job! What other informations you want. I tell you I am Laszlo Novotny and am famous of my home country of Prauge. Now I fall on hard times and live in US and have much needs of monys when my friends he show the letter he gots from you. He say you bad man, but I think different--I know many African people in my Czech home country and all are honorable. I beleive you need help and want to help with the monys. I want to help! Please to be of help! Why you delay my claim when I help I am good as gold!

So I tell you more about me, As yylou see my english yes not is it so good? But is gwetting better and I tell you how. In english, yes, my voice is clumsy like a bear cub, but in czech my language soar like an arsetray! Like I say in czech I am famous poet and transrearalated into many languagqweds I been have. I write poem appear in over two and twenty anthologieies call "Hi! I am Winston!". My engrish translrazararaion follows (I am not traraarralanslatori as english not yert perfect enough):

Hi! I am WInston!

I want to use my experience.

Such activityies keep you healthty.

An actress with finesse: I travel

It's been a long time since we wrestled in San Francisco.

and so on the poem goes. I not know if you poetry lover, Dr. Suleman but if you want hear the rest rite back me!

SO now I say yes it is true no my english not good so it is! But better it gets because I am famous poet and I do transrararalaition exerceis. I have idea project I worj on and this it is:

I translate most famous grat poem in English into Czech that poem you must know it is Paradise Lost by Mr. John Milton the beginning in ENGlish it goes:

Of Man's first disobedience, and the fruit
Of that forbidden tree whose mortal taste
Brought death into the World, and all our woe,
With loss of Eden, till one greater Man
Restore us, and regain the blissful seat,
Sing, Heavenly Muse, that, on the secret top
Of Oreb, or of Sinai, didst inspire
That shepherd who first taught the chosen seed
In the beginning how the heavens and earth
Rose out of Chaos: or, if Sion hill
Delight thee more, and Siloa's brook that flowed
Fast by the oracle of God, I thence
Invoke thy aid to my adventurous song,
That with no middle flight intends to soar
Above th' Aonian mount, while it pursues
Things unattempted yet in prose or rhyme

So Dr, Suleman evin if you not poetic man you see beauty of language and this is english very complicated so I make myself translate into czech language:

Souboje st?edovµk?ch ryt??? v podan? skupiny historick?ho ?ermu Ryt??i Koruny ?esk? se m??ete z??astnit ve ?tvrtek 15.8. na namµst? T.G.Masaryka, kde bude pro v?echny zajemce p?ipraven historick? tabor se stanky s dobov?mi ?emesly ( kova?, pern?ka?, ?ezba?, minc?? a dal??). Historick? souboje bude p?edvadµt 5x dennµ 6 mu?ket?r?.

Ministerstvo kultury TR vyhlasilo okruhy grant? a program? pro rok 2002. Jsou stanoveny pevn? term?ny odevzdan? ?adost? o finan?n? podporu akc?. Ve zkratce upozor?ujeme knihovn?ky ve?ejn?ch knihoven na t?matick? okruhy (a term?ny), kter? jsou vyhla?eny pro knihovny.

Ve Sb?rce zakon? v ?astce 98/2001 byl uve?ejnµn schvalen? zakon ?. 257/2001 Sb., o knihovnach a podm?nkach provozovan? ve?ejn?ch knihovnick?ch a informa?n?ch slu?eb (knihovn? zakon). Zakon nab?va ??innosti dnem 1. ledna 2002 a ru?? zakon ?. 53/1959 Sb., o knihovnach jednotn? soustavy.

and finally--hard part is here! I do not read original poem I translate back into english poetry my czech tranraraliaion and see if i make peom in english beautifusl Miltion as:

Off the new bad thing and the rotten turnip who die
into the world sad bring woe betide
so gone Eden but then the great Jesus
haul us back to the seat of the outhouse
it is happy; squawk heaven's moose
where the mountain fell on the humble shepherd
in the beginning how the sky and the dirt it
make happy where the water spill
so you make my squawk melodious more
so i fell my szercvilye and i ask at the feet
things yet unattempted in prose or rhyme.

So sir Dr. Sulenamenm sir now you know my stature and have no doubt that I am the right man for the job. Please to help! Please to have the hearing from you soon. As we say in my country language: it is better if a goose is in the hair then because over the nest comes water.

Please to hear your squeaking or writing soon, I want to be your friend in weather!

Laszlo Novotny

No response. Laszlo tries a couple of short letters:

Dr. Suleman sir Dr. SIr

I have not heards from you yet what is wrong?????

And...

Dr suleman sir dr sir

Why you delay my the hearing of you? why why why? Hi! I am Laszlo

Finally, Dr. Suleman says:

PLEASE UNDERSTAND ME/AND CONTACT THE LAWYER

Accordingly,. Laszlo writes to the good Barrister Jubril

Dr. Mr. Sir Mr. Jubril Sir Dr mr-- It is a pleasure of me to have the ear lended to me, chawed off, of you for however quick a time let you tell me! Dear mr. sir I am riting to you because I am American relative of Mr. Sylvester William I find out he die in flyght!

So this sad make me but then hear I--monys left in bank! Sir I am Mr. Slyvester's brother of long losing and if only see him again could I! But I am rich American and I know he would want me to have his monys in my house and bed.

So if you goes to the bankses you see there is too and foorty milltion dollards which is mine as I am the American brother of Mr. Slyvester.

You may notice the english which I rite is too odd not you say american? I say I am as American as apple szcexezczezci! But I brought up in appalalahcian mountains where english as she is spoke not is good as english in other america part as we poor and no travel is possible.

Please to hear from you and be your friend in weather,

Laszlo Novotny (Slyvester)

Paydirt! Barrister Jubril:

Dear Laszlo,

I have received your mail, thank you for it, but to ask you, how did you get my contact? Please answer this question for me.

What is the name of the Bank, where the money is, so that I will go and make inquires and then write to you about my condition of service.

Thanks

Barristers Jubril Hassan (ESQ)

Dr. Suleman suddenly becomes a more proactive correspondent:

Dear : Laszlo,

Have you contacted the Lawyer? What was his response? I checked for your mail yesterday and there was none. Write to me immediately let me know the position of things.

Have a nice day.

DR. SULEMAN LUKMAN.

Laszlo:

Dr Mr. Barrister Sir Jubril Sir,

I gots contact for you from mr sulemans mabye you know hinm yes? He not rite back much and tell be where bank is, onlyu that mony there mabye you ask him? I need my monys and will do what you needs of me to get monys here. It is my monys and I want it!

You reply soon!

Your friend in weather,

Laszlo Novotny (slyvester)

TO Dr. Suleman:

have contacted the lawyer and he rited me back whatr you need know now?

frirnds in weather,

Laszlo Novotny

Barrister Jubril:

Dear Laszlo,

All I need from you now is that you should write to Dr. Suleman to give you the Name and Location of the Bank. Then you shall write and give me all details
immediately.

Remember you will give me the following to enable me apply for your money at the Bank:
1). Your Bank Name and Account Number.
2). Your Address, Phone and Fax
3). State whether you are a brother, Cousin, or uncle to Sylvester Williams

Remember also that you shall pay my consultation fees, for processing charges and cost of Oaths at the High Court.

Most of all you shall pay my Professional fees of 1% after the transfer of the funds into your account.

Please reply fast.

Jubril Hassan (ESQ)

Laszlo:

yes i will do that yes soon

to be your friend in weather

laszlo

Dr. Suleman:

Dear Laszlo,

Tell the Lawyer that the Name of the Bank is International Bank for Africa at Lome - Togo.

The name of your relative is SYLVESTER WILLIAMS. He died on November, 25th 1997. He had $42Million in his Account. He should get this money for you.

Waiting to read from you.

Sincerely yours.

DR. LUKMAN SULEMAN

Laszlo (to Barrister Jubril):

I have writes to Dr. Suleman and the bankses it is Internation Bank of Africa in Lome to go! So can I now have the monys please?

Your friend in weather

Laszlo (sluyvester)

Barrister Jubril:

Dear Mr. Laszlo,

I have gone to the Bank, and got the full information I also discovered that your Uncle Mr. Sylvester Williams had left $42Million USD and an interest of $3Million USD has accrued bringing the total to $45Million USD. My enquiries revealed that you can apply to have the funds released to you, through your Lawyer, that is me.

I saw Dr. Suleman and Mrs. Graig who told me that they can help us fast to released this money for you.

Now the requirements are as follows:-

1). Your Full Names,

2). Your Address, Phone and Fax numbers.

3). Your Bank name, Address, phone and Fax Number.

4) YOur Account Number in which the money will be transfer into.

5). You will pay processing fees of $38,000 This will enable me do the following things:-

a). Make Application to the Bank

b). Swear an Oath at the High Court.

c). Stamp duties from the Government Reveue Office.

d). Many other Necessary out goings.

As soon I receive all this, I will apply to the Bank and Dr. Suleman had promised that he will help so the funds will be released fast into your account within seven (7) Bank working days.

Make haste while I await your reply.

BARRISTER JUBRIL HASSAN

Laszlo to the Barrister (it helps to know The Free State Brewing Co.):

Dr Mr. Dear sir Barrister Sir Mr., Thanks be to you fro youre mailings of today! I will do the needful as you request posthaste!

1). My name is Full Is Laszlo Kreptyiviehi Szcechei Rybecskiu Uli Novotny.

2). My addresses is:
Mr. Sir. Laszlo Kreptyiviehi Szcechei Rybecskiu Uli Novonty
636 Massachusetts Street
Lawrence, Kansas 66044

3). My numbers of fone is: (785) 843-4555 is it the number of my workings call there it is free state and asks for my full name so they will no me so say, "Is Laszlo Kreptyiviehi Szcechei Rybecskiu Uli Novotny there?"

4). My number of faxing is: (785)-843-2543

5). The number of my accountings is 73464732323

Please now to do the needful and expedite the this that! Please to hear from you at the sooningest!
Please to be your friend in weather!
Laszlo Kreptyiviehi Szcechei Rybecskiu Uli Novotny
My Friend in Weather,
why you not rited me back yet? where is monys? please do the needful!
rite me back now, ok?
laszlo

Barrister Jubril to Laszlo:

Dear Laszlo, Thanks for your mail. I have now received your particulars they are okay. One more thing is this; send to me immediately, my consultation fees of $38,000 through this Bank:- BANK OF NEW YORK SWIFT CODE: IRVTUS 3N FUR. CR TO: ANADOLU BANK SWIFT CODE: ANDL TRIS ISTANBUL, TURKEY A/C NO: 9500- 106011-351 BENEF: PROFILE CONTRACTS & CONSULTANCY Immediately I received it, I will put everything together and go to apply for your funds to be released to you. NOTE: If you go to the your Bank pay and they ask you what for, tell them you are sending money to your Uncle. DON’T TELL ANYBODY THE TRUTH IN THE BANK. In fact I would have forwarded the Application this Afternoon, if you had sent the $38,000 before now. However, when you sent the money, sent me a mail and attached the payment slip in my E-mail Attached file for conformation. I waiting for you fast. JUBRIL HASSAN (ESQ).

Apparently Laszlo wasn't fast enough for the Barrister:

Dear Laszlo, I have been waiting for the Lawyer to come for the Application Forms. Have you settled with him? What is happening? You are wasting so much time on this transaction. Please contact Lawyer so that the funds can be transferred into your Bank Account and I can come over. Have a wonderful day, Sincerely yours. DR. LUKMAN SULEMAN.

Laszlo Novotny writes back:

What is the best way to send the monys please?

Poor Barrister. Too many tangles:

Dear Laszlo, I got your mails, Thanks for that . Please the first Account Number was not correct. This one is correct now. Send me the money through this Account Number below:

BANK OF NEW YORK
SWIFT CODE: IRVTUS3N
FUR.CR.TO: ANADOLU BANK
SWIFT CODE: ANDL TRIS
ISTANBUL, TURKEY
A/C NO: 9500 – 106009 – 351
BENEF: INTERNATIONAL CLEARNING CONTRACTS.

I will move to the Bank to forward the Application for release of the funds into your Account as soon as I receive the Payment Slip.

Please send the payment Slip and ask them at the Bank to include the Value Date in the Slip. Then sent to me the Payment Slip through my e-mail Attached file for confirmation.

Note: Remember that you should NOT tell anybody at your Bank the story of the Business. If they ask you, tell them you are sending the money to your relation out here.
I am waiting for you fast.
JUBRIL HASSAN (ESQ)

Laszlo writes back:

Subject: Re: YOU ARE WASTING MUCH TIME
I am waiting to send the monys to mr. sir jubril please to be patient freind in weather laszlo

Dr. Suleman writes:

Dear Laszlo, As soon as you sent the money to Barrister Jubril,. Send me a mail. I want the Lawyer to come to the Bank for the Application forms so that the funds can move as soon as possible. Have a nice day DR. SULEMAN LUKMAN

Dr. Suleman writes:

I had expected to see Barrister Jubril Hassan come for the Forms today, incidentally that did not happen. Are you sure you are still interested in this Transaction? Please if you are not, communicate immediately so that me and my Colleahgues can begin to look for alternative person to use. Have a nice day. Sincerely yours. DR. SULEMAN LUKMAN

And again:

Dear Laszlo, I haven't heard from you for days now. What is happening? have you sent the money to the Lawyer? settle with the Lawyer and let him come to the bank and clear the process so that the funds can move into your Bank Account. Please act fast. contact Lawyer today. Have a nice day. Sincerely yours. DR. SULEMAN LUKMAN

Laszlo finally writes:

OK, yes, OK. Please to have the monys now?
Laszlo

Dear Laszlo, Send the money immediately to me through this Account Number:- BANK OF NEW YORK SWIFT CODE: IRVTUS 3N FUR. CR TO: ANADOLU BANK SWIFT CODE: ANDL TRIS ISTANBUL, TURKEY A/C NO: 9500- 106011-351 BENEF: PROFILE CONTRACTS & CONSULTANCY. IMPORTANT NOTE: Tell Your Bank to include the Value Date of when the money will be clear, and sent me the Payment Slip through E-mail attached file for confirmation. You are delaying too much. As soon as I receive the sum of $38,000 I will process the Application. If you are no longer interested tell me, I have so many matters to attend to. Regards, JUBRIL HASSAN (ESQ).