The pitch:

From: "markdavid1"
Date: Sun Aug 24, 2003 12:06:08 PM US/Eastern
To: "markdavid1"
Subject: PLEASE RESCUE MY LIFE

From: Mr Mark David.

My Dear be of help,

My name is Mark David, I am a student. Please I
would like you to assist me as urgent as you can
before they kill me.
My father is a wealthy cocoa merchant.
Trouble began early last year when my father's
associates began suspecting that my father is not
giving proper accounts of all the tons of cocoa being cultivated by
local farmers in some villages .

This mistrust deepens between oct-sept, 2002 . My
father told me that he deposited the sum of $9.5
million in a suspence account with a bank in England.
As a result of this discovery and the enviness of the
money ,he was poisioned by his associates.
At his hospital bed ,he revealed to me the reasons of
his sickness. He directed me where to get the
documents of the said deposit, that he made me the
next of kin being the only child.He advise me that if
he dies , that I should not stay in the country
because his associates will equally kill me hence my
mother died five yrs ago of breast cancer.

He directed me if he dies that I should look for a
foreign partner who will help me to transfer the money
into the person's account and the person will help me
to invest the money in that country. My father finally died on 5th of November and since
then I was out of school and went into hiding because
of my father's associates.

I AM HONOURABLY SEEKING YOUR ASSISTANCE IN THE
FOLLOWING WAYS.

1)I will like you to provide an account were this
money will be transferred
2)I will like you to serve as the guardian of this
fund since I am a boy of 18 years
3)I will also like you to make arrangement for me to
come over there as soon as the money has been
transferred .
Moreover, I believe this transaction will be
concluded, 7days you indicate your interest to assist
me.
I am ready to compensate you very well if you can
help me transfer this money into your account for
onward investment in your country.
Please contact me immediately with the above E-mail
address or markdavid2@libero.it and include your
private telephone and Fax number for,easy
communication.
please this transaction is risk-free
I'm waiting for your urgent reply.
Best regards

Mark David.

.

Yours faithfully,
Zuky m .Princeton.
Private Email:wilfed_mailbox@yahoo.co.uk

The reply:

----- Original Message ----- From: Robert Hickam Sent: Saturday, September 13, 2003 5:49 PM To: markdavid2@libero.it Subject: I WILL HELP YOU!!! Yo Mark, I don't know how you stumbled across my email address, but I like your style. Short. Direct. To the point. I can tell you're a fellow who shoots from the hip, who makes quick decisions with no regrets, who loves 'em and leaves 'em and never looks back. Am I right, Mark? I have the feeling you're a man of action, not a man of idle words and blather. And rescuing lives is what I do Best.

Well I'm a man of action myself, Mark, and I'm going to take you up on your offer, as long as you agree to a few conditions. Being a down to earth fellow, I'm sure you're saying to yourself right about now: "Who is this crackpot? And who does he think he is, responding to my proposal with his own set of terms and conditions, strutting around my barnyard like the boss rooster?" Well, let me explain myself a little further and I'm sure you'll understand.

Mark, as well as being a man of action, I assume you're also a man of discretion and tact. If this isn't the case, read no further.

I'm going to share a secret with you now, Mark, and I trust that you'll keep it to yourself.. I like to think I have a sixth sense about people, that I can tell--even in the absence of the slightest empirical evidence (can tell, in fact, from the awkward earnestness of your own pidgin-English prose)--that you are a man to be trusted. And so, Mark, I am going to let you in on a Very Big Secret.
Mark, I go by a number of pseudonyms. One of them happens to be Robert Hickam, owner of the email address you stumbled upon in your introductory email. But Robert Hickam is simply an assumed moniker (can you image a real person with such a ridiculous name? Perhaps someday you and I can meet in person and we can laugh over what stupid name that is. As if a real person would go by such a name ).

To get to the point, Mark, my real name is Jake Steinfeld. Perhaps you have heard of me. I am a tried and true fitness authority, who is known for his exceptional motivational abilities and his instinctive talent of making the task of keeping fit seem simple and fun. Growing up in Long Island, New York, I was an overweight kid who had a terrible stutter.. It was overcoming these adversities that entrenched my new philosophy of living a fit lifestyle, adopting my personal lifelong motto "Don't Quit!". Yes, Mark, I am the man behind "Body By Jake". If you're not familiar with my work, you can check out my website at http://www.bodybyjake.com

Since I'm such an important public figure, I'm sure you understand the need for absolute secrecy in this transaction. Therefore, please write to me at this email address, and write any checks or money orders to Robert Hickam and not Jake Steinfeld. Due to the sensitive nature of our future transactions it is imperative that my real identity is not linked in any way with our business dealings. I will, of course, set up a separate and valid bank account under this pseudonym for all of our transactions.

I hope you and I can work together to transfer these funds, Mark. You seem like an honest and straightforward man and I can assure you that the 25 % of the 55 million you promised me will be put to largely philanthropic ends. I have just one more request, and, though I myself admit it is odd, I would be honored if you would comply.

Mark, please look at my website when you have a spare moment and tell me what you think--honestly. But don't tell me in simple, pedestrian prose. Relate your feelings with the language of your heart. In other words, please write a song, a poem, a short story, paint or draw a picture, mount an installation, stage a happening, but DO SOMETHING CREATIVE AND EXPRESSIVE and for God's sake email it to me. The reason I request a song, poem or painting in lieu of more conventional critical feedback is simple: I believe creative expression is a rawer, more fundamental expression one's feelings, and I want to know what YOU REALLY THINK OF MY WEBSITE, Mark. So, please, hold nothing back. Let the muse within you sing, the shriller the better.

I sincerely hope we can work together, Mr. Mark. Rest assured I will do whatever is necessary to make this transaction a reality. Again, I WILL DO WHATEVER IS NECESSARY. Please write me soon and let me know the position of things.

Again, my website is: http://www.bodybyjake.com

Looking forward to hearing from you,

Jake Steinfeld (aka Robert Hickam)

Paydirt!

----- Original Message ----- From: mark david Sent: Tuesday, September 16, 2003 11:48 AM To: rbhickam82@msn.com Subject: I THANK GOD FOR YOU Dear Uncle Jake Steinfeld,

It is very good to hear from you that you will help me
to invest this money in your country,please am very
sorry that i did not reply early i was very sick i
could not come out and see my box i thank God that am
okey now.

This money was deposited in the bank here in suspense
account by my late father and my father before he die
adviced me not to invest this money here that i should
look for foreign partner who can handle the money for
me that is why i contacted you for the first time and
with hope that you will not seat on top of the money
after the transfer the money in your account.

Please sens to me your full name and address and your
telephone and fax numbers so that i will surmit them
to the bank to contact you for the transfer.i have
gone through your website and beleived that i will
transact this business with you.

You can call me on this number +22507847003 if you
want to talk to me.

I hope to hear from you soonest.

May God bless you for me

Mark.

We respond:

Hi Mark,

Thanks for writing me back. I’m glad to know you’re feeling better and want me to help you. Helping people is what I do best—if you saw my website you should know that.

But you’re not very good at following directions, Mark, so I’m going to repeat myself once more:

Mark, please look at my website when you have a spare moment and tell me what you think--honestly. But don't tell me in simple, pedestrian prose. Relate your feelings with the language of your heart. In other words, please write a song, a poem, a short story, paint or draw a picture, mount an installation, stage a happening, but DO SOMETHING CREATIVE AND EXPRESSIVE and for God's sake email it to me. The reason I request a song, poem or painting in lieu of more conventional critical feedback is simple: I believe creative expression is a rawer, more fundamental expression one's feelings, and I want to know what YOU REALLY THINK OF MY WEBSITE, Mark. So, please, hold nothing back. Let the muse within you sing, the shriller the better.

Mark, you did not do this. All you said in your response was that you saw my website and from it deduced I was a trustworthy man. I’m touched you took the time to look at the site, but you completely ignored my request. You need to learn, right off the bat, that if you want to do this transaction with me you need to give as much as you get. It’s my way or the highway, mister! Nevertheless, I’m giving you the benefit of a doubt as you said you’re recovering from a serious illness and you were probably in a fevered state when you read my earlier communication.

So here’s your assignment, Mark, and upon completion we will proceed to the next step of this transaction—I will forward you my contact information and new account details as soon as you complete the form below. Take some time and give serious thought to your replies.

If this works out, Mark, I just might consider adopting you.

Your new friend,
Jake Steinfeld
PLEASE COMPLETE THE FORM BELOW:

BODY BY JAKE’S FIT FOR LIFE PLAN—INTRODUCTORY WORKSHEET
1). My full name is_______________________________________________________
2). I am _______years old.
3). I am ____ft_____inches tall.
4). I weigh_________Lbs or ___________kg.
5). My ideal weight is_______________
6). My most attractive feature is_____________
7). If I could change one thing about myself it would be my__________________________
8). I consider myself an attractive person ____yes______no.
9). At parties I usually a). dance and socialize b). stay close to a select few friends or c). am a total wallflower
10). I am sexually active -----yes ------no
11). Write a short essay detailing a difficult problem in your life and how you solved it. For example, if your father was poisoned by his associates and on his hospital bed he revealed to you the reason for his sickness, directed you as to where to get the documents of the said deposit and that he made you the next of kin being the only child, what would you do? Note: this is only an example.
12). Write a short poem about what you hope to achieve by implementing the Body by Jake Fit For Life Plan
13). Why is a manhole cover round?
14). Do you find Jake Steinfeld attractive?
15). If adopted by the said Mr. Steinfeld, would you have any objection to bathing in his presence?

----- Original Message ----- From: mark david Sent: Friday, September 19, 2003 7:56 AM To: Robert Hickam Subject: Sorry for the delay Dear Uncle Jake Steinfeld,

I am very sorry for the delay in response to your
mail,i have been very ill but thank GOD i am
recovering now.Uncle i did receive the form you have
asked me to fill and i have done it and attarched it
to this very message

The difficult aspect of my life was when i became an orphan,my father left me with an inheritance of us$9.5million deposited in a bank.After the death of my father i have to source out a sincere foreign person who will assist me transfer and invest the money in his country.

Then i came in contact with ,whom i feel was GOD`s
devine direction and a person who can save me from a
hopless future.I strongly belive that in no distant
time i will have a normal life once again with the
help of Uncle Jake Steinfeld.

Thanks and GOD bless
Mark David.

Uncle please go through this informations and get back
to me as soon as possible because i have exhausted the
money i have at hand on my medications.

Do send to me your telephone and fax number,your
complete home and office address to enable me submitte
them to the bank because they are requesting for it
before anything could be done regarding the
transfer.You should also call me for more
explanations.

I wish you and your family a happy day.

GOD bless.

Mark.

He's impatient.

----- Original Message ----- From: mark david Sent: Sunday, September 21, 2003 11:49 AM To: Robert Hickam Subject: HAPPY SUNDAY Uncle,

Please write me back ,did you receive the last email i
sent to you?

Please if you are still willint to help me invest this
money in your country send to me your full details so
that the bank will contact you for the transfer.

Mark.

Back at 'em

Hi Mark,

Yes, I got your last email. Thanks for filling out that form—we’re going to get you fit come hell or high water!
Do you really only weigh only 69 pounds and stand 5’7”? No wonder you’re always getting sick!

Well, let’s get this show on the road:

My name is :Jake Steinfeld (but we’ll be registering the account under the assumed name Robert Hickam)
My Address is:
Jake Steinfeld
The Don’t Quit! Foundation
11611 San Vicente Blvd., Suite 515
Los Angeles, CA 90049

Phone: 1-877-888-0988
Fax: 1-925-891-2454

Let’s do this thing buddy!

From: mark david >To: Robert Hickam >Subject: UNCLE TRY TO C ALL THEM >Date: Thu, 25 Sep 2003 09:17:32 -0700 (PDT) > Uncle, I do receive your email I do not have their email address you c an c ontac t them through telephone or their fax number. Let me know as soon as you get intouch with them. Mark.

Hi Mark,

I've been trying to call them all day, but no luck! I just can't get
through! This is also true with the fax. This is discouraging. Perhaps you
can email them and ask for their email address?

Don't quit!

Jake Steinfeld

and then...

Mr Mark Fuckass David,

What the fuck are you trying to pull off here? I got some weird-ass fax
(see attached) in terrible English talking about "lick of funds" and
some other nonsense. Who the hell is T. Cole? What is the bullshit?

In addition, I'll let you know that I've been trying to call those
goddamned numbers for the last three days and haven't been able to
fucking get through.

You'd better give me their email address, you little fuck, or this
fucking transaction is fucking over. I'm a fucking busy man and you
don't fucking waste Jake fucking STEINFELD (that's right, those
stupid-ass lazy motherfucking cocksuckers fucking mispelled my fucking
last cocksucking motherfucking ass-bitch name)'S time.

You fucking write me back you miserable little shit.

Your Friend,
Jake

----- Original Message -----
From: mark david
Sent: Sunday, September 28, 2003 2:26 PM
To: Robert Hickam
Subject: UNCLE WHY DO YOU WRITE THIS TO ME

Uncle,

When I read your email this afternoong after I came
back from church I was shock because of the content
,only GOD knows I do not know whay you are talking
about and am not from nigara come for that,if you are
willing to help me do everything with the bank in
america there so that they can transfer the money to
you for investment,but if you do not have intrest to
help me ,please let me know so that i will look for
another foreign person who will help.

You can call me on this number if posible
0022507847003.

Am not happy with the content of your email.

Bye

Mark.

Hey Mark,

First of all, I would like to apologize for the tone of my previous
email. I suppose there's no good time to make a disclosure like this,
so I might as well just come out and say it. I, Jake Steinfeld, am an
alcoholic. I have no memory of writing the previous email (I was in the
middle of a horrible drinking episode at the time and became quite
violent--I'm afraid a traumatized quite a few customers at my gym) and
was horrified what I sent to you. Please, please accept my most sincere
apologies. Like every man on this earth, I am subject to many
weaknesses, one of them being the need to down a quart of vodka every
other day or so.

But enough about me--let's talk about this transaction. Where do we go
from here? The fax I received the other day was in such bad English
that I couldn't even determine its meaning. At any rate, does your
friend have a fax number?: I can fax account details to him, since I
seem to be unable to call. I eagerly await your response.

Again, please accept my most genuine apologies and God Bless.

Uncle Jake Steinfeld.

Let's respond with an incomprehensible fax of our own.

All is well.

Mr. Mark David--

I wanted you to know that I responded to Mr. T Cole's fax of the other
day--please let him know it should be arriving soon. Once again, please
accept my apologies and I look forward to working with you.

Best,

Uncle Jake Steinfeld

Confusion reigns...

From: mark david To: Robert Hickam Subject: Confused Date: Wed, 1 Oct 2003 09:40:56 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Uncle,

I cant read the fax you sent to me because it wasn't
clear enough.Meanwhile i do not know who Mr Cole is
because he is not the contact person in National
Investment Bank where our money is surposed to be
transfer to your account.Please here is there contact
information again.

Name:National Investment Company Services.
Tel:5164764815 Fax:5166078851
Contact Person:Dr Mark William.

Please uncle do contact them immediately so that they
will make the transfer of the money to your account
because am really suffering here.

I aaits your urgent response.
THanks and GOD bless.

Mark David.

Let's play dumb.

Hi Mark,

I'm afraid I'm still having trouble with the fax. The problem is I
can't seem to find what country I'm trying to fax to...

(Barrister to readers: Peru. Continue reading...)

What is 51 the country code for? I can't find any country on the map with a 51 country code. The closest I came was 31--the Netherlands, where T. Cole is, and 251, Ethiopia. I'm guessing it's Ethiopia and you forgot to put the 2 in front. If you could just let me know if my hunch is correct I'll send that fax over to Mr. Cole and Mr. WIlliams immediately. Where are you? I think I should fly down to wherever you are soon and transact this business face to face--it'll be much quicker that way, don't you think?

Thank you, and sorry for the trouble. I look forward to hearing from you.

Jake Steinfeld
(4 days sober)

Apology time

Hi Again Mark.

I'm up late tonight, and I have to admit I got a little drunk. I think
the booze helped, though, as I was able to compose an eloquent fax to Mr
Williams (on Body by Jake letterhead!). I'm attarching a copy, see what
you think and get back to me. I am so drunk! I'd better go now, but
please get back to me about the country code so we can fax Mr. William
and get this thing going.

Don't quit!

Yer buddy,

Jake Stienfeld

A development...

From: mark david Sent: Friday, October 03, 2003 6:42 AM To: Robert Hickam Subject: Development

Dear Uncle,

Yesterday Ecobank here in abidjan sent a message to me to inform you that National investment Company Services has called the money bank here in Ecobank due to delay on our side.Please here is the ecobank Contact informations please uncle do contact them immediately and arrange for them to transfer the money because this delay might cause them to divert the
money.

Name:Ecobank Abidjan Cote D'Ivoire
TEl:225 05352047 Fax 225 03014778
Email:ecobank_abjci@financier.com
Contact Person:DR Francis Peters.

Contact them as my late father's foreign business partner and arrange with them to transfer the money to your account.I will go there immediately after this mail to submitte your name as my late father's foreign business associate who has my interest and future at heart.I awaits your urgent actions.

Thank you and may GOD bless you.

Mark David

__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
The New Yahoo! Shopping - with improved product search
http://shopping.yahoo.com

From: Robert Hickam
To:
Subject: Re: Development
Date: Mon, 06 Oct 2003 13:36:26 -0400
Hi mark,

Just wanted to let you know I wrote the bank today. How are things with you?

Uncle Jake.

From: Robert Hickam
To:
Subject:
Date: Mon, 06 Oct 2003 13:34:45 -0400
Hello,

I am writing to you on behalf of Mark David, a young man whose father was recently murdered in an unfortunate incident. He was a cocoa merchant, and
entrusted his 18 year old son, the aforementioned Mark David, into my care.
I am contancting you to facilitate the transfer of his funds--55 million in total, I belive, into my US account. Please let me know what additional information you require.

Best,

Uncle Jake Steinfeld.

Very good uncle!

----- Original Message ----- From: mark david Sent: Thursday, October 09, 2003 11:04 AM To: Robert Hickam Subject: VERY GOOD UNCLE

Uncle,

Even my self am hoping to hear from you to know if the Bank have inform you the day they will transfer the money to your account,as I receive your mail this
afternnon ,I contacted the Bank they told me that they are waiting for your information ther reauested from you to transfer the money to your account.

Please Uncle,contact the Bank and send the information to them please.

I wait to hear from you.

----- Original Message -----
From: Ecobank Abidjan Cote d`Ivoire
Sent: Friday, October 10, 2003 6:13 AM
To: Robert Hickam
Subject: UPDATE

FROM THE DESK OF DR FRANCIS PETERS

ATTN:MR JAKE STEINFELD.

DEAR SIR,

WE ARE STILL WAITING FOR YOU TO FURNISH US WITH YOUR DETAILS CONTACT INFORMATIONS WE REQUIRED TO ENABLLE US START PROCEESING THE TRANSFER OF THE SUM OF US$9.5M INTO YOUR DESIGNATED BANK ACCOUNT.

ANTICIPATING YOUR RESPONSE.

THANKS.

DR FRANCIS PETERS
DIRECTOR FOREIGN REMMITTANCE DEPARTMENT
ECOBANK ABIDJAN COTE D'IVOIRE.

I do not respond. After a few days Mark Writes Again...

----- Original Message ----- From: mark david Sent: Thursday, October 16, 2003 12:12 PM To: Robert Hickam Subject: WHY UNCLE

Dear Uncle,

Why you can not write me even to tell me if you have contacted the Bank or not for the transfer of this money to your account ,so that i will met you as soon as the Bank transfer the money to your account.

please I have tried to call you with the number you gave to me but it can not go through.

If you have a good one send to me.

Mark.

Time to Write the Bank

Dear Dr. Peters,

I apologize for the delay in my correspondence, but I was away on important business and was unable to respond until now. Please find my requested particulars below.

Best,

Jake Steinfeld

Name: Jake Steinfeld
Address:
The Don't Quit! Foundation
11611 San Vicente Blvd., Suite 515
Los Angeles, CA 90049

Phone: 1-877-888-0988

Fax:1-925-891-2454

Bank Information:

CITI BANK NEW YORK
SWIFT CODE: CITI US33
FUR.CR.TO: SWIFT CODE: BBVA ESMM
A/C. NO: 0182 1793 51 2011000037
BENEF: UNIGLOBE CONTRACTS

Please let me know if you require any additional information.

Best,

Jake Steinfeld

Hi Mark,

I'm so sorry I've been out of touch for so ling, but I was away on emergency business, if you know what I mean. At any rate, I'm back and healthier than ever. In addition to my newfound sobriety and renewed outlook on life, I'm happy to report that I've furnished the bank with my account details to expedite the transfer of the 55 million you will be sending to me.

Again, I apologize for the delay, but it shouldn't be long now.

Don't Quit!

Uncle Jake

Not too surprisingly, the Barrister's first missive didn't make it to its intended recipients; it bounced back promptly. When he confronted Mark David about this, he received the following helpful reply. The Barrister is especially amused that his correspondent chooses to quibble over non-existent sums of money.

----- Original Message ----- From: mark david Sent: Sunday, October 19, 2003 5:19 AM To: Robert Hickam Subject: UNCLE CONTACT THEM WITH THIS EMAIL ADDRESS Dear Uncle,

Infact am very happy to hear from you today ,Uncle you are well come because I have start wondering what will be the mater of not hearing from you I thank GOD that you are ok,that you only traveled out.

Please below is the direct email address you will use to contact the Bank.

the direct email contact of the telex department in charge of the transfer is
(telexdp_ecobank.abidjan@laposte.net)contact person the same. Do contact immediately and they will respond to you.The other one is an ecobank open email.I wish you a happy weekend.I awaits your urgent response.

THanks and GOD Bless.
Mark David

NB, Please do forget to inform the Bank that you are my let father foreign business partner that you have concern to help me and you will like them to transfer the money to your account.

I have already told the Bank about you,please go ahead and contact them,meanwhile the money involve is $9.5m not $55m please take note .

Hi Mark, I have re-sent my particulars to the email address you specified below. Hopefully it will go through this time. I do, however, have a couple of questions. 1). Below, you wrote, "Please do forget to inform the Bank that you are my let father foreign business partner that you have concern to help me and you will like them to transfer the money to your account" Did you mean, "please do NOT forget" or did you in fact want me to forget everything? I hope it was the former, because I told them I was a business associate of your late father's. 2). I thought you told me the total sum was 55 million and not 9.5. What happened to the other 45.5 million dollars? Best, Uncle Jake Steinfeld

Let's bicker some more about money

From: mark david To: Robert Hickam Subject: UNCLE THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONCERN Date: Mon, 20 Oct 2003 10:49:39 +0200 (CEST) Dear Uncle, Thank you for the effort you made to contact the Bank for the transfer,please as soon as you hear from them let me know,make all posible best so see that you conlude with them so that they will transfer this money to your account before wenesday this week. Please Uncle,the money in the Bank is $9.5m not $4.5 or $55m please take note of this. I told you to contaact the Bank as my late father foreign business partner ,because they are asking me who are you to me that I want them to transfer the money to your account,this is what I told them,that you are my late father foreign business partner,and I will like them to transfer the money to you. Please if posible,you can re-send the massege you send to the Bank to me so that I will go through it. Uncle,how can I travel to met you? I do not have international pasport Should I go for it now?or you have another means of inviting me in your country. Please of this informations because as soon as the Baank transfer the money to your account this week,by next week I will like to live here,because the money I have in my hand here is almost finish. Please Uncle I will like to talk to you ,send me your direct number so that I can call you,or you can call me. Mark.

Hi Mark,

I wanted to let you know that the bank has contacted me and I will be arranging to have the funds transmitted shortly.

Howver, I still don't understand why you now say you have only 9.5 million dollars when you stated you had 55 million dollars in your original email. I copied it below so you can see for yourself. Are you sure you don't have another 45.5 million stashed somehwere? Maybe you forgot about it? Anyway, let me know. I guess we can start with the 9.5 million.

I will keep you posted and let you know as soon as my payment clears with the bank.

Jake Steinfeld.

Mark David never said anything about 55 million. but I wanted to see if I could get him to up the ante.

Dear Uncle,

I am very happy to hear from you that the bank has contacted you for the transfer, Please the real amount is $9.5M Not $55M . Please take note of this.

I am very sorry about the mistake in my first proposal, that is a fault from the girl who typed this letter for me at the first time, She mistakenly typed
55M instead of 9.5M, please uncle bear the mistake with me.

Please tell me exactly when the bank will make the transfer? and what is your arrangement for me towards coming to your country after the bank transferred the money to your account.

Uncle please try and hastate the bank to make the transfer earlier this week , because I am tired of staying here in this country, also there's a rumour here again that another political anachy is rising again,so I will like the bank to transfer this money immediately before any problem will arise here again.

Have a nice day.

Yours Brother,

Mark.

Documents! Previous documents!

FROM ECOBANK,ABIDJAN COTE D'IVOIRE

DEAR SIR,

SEE THE ATTARCHED DOCUMENTS FOR ECOBANK TRANSFER INSTRUCTIONS.

THANKS.

Accédez au courrier électronique de La Poste : www.laposte.net ;
3615 LAPOSTENET (0,34€/mn) ; tél : 08 92 68 13 50 (0,34€/mn)

Dr. Peters,

Thank you for getting back to me so quickly. I can see that you're a man of
action and I look forward to doing business with you and bringing this
transacton to a swift conclusion. I will fill out the attarched form and
submit it shortly.

I do have one or two questions:

1). I believe the correct amount to be transferred is $55 million, not 9.5
million. There is some confusion with Mr Mark David about this.

2). Please go ahead the deduct the $850 fee from the $55 million to be
transferred--that should be simple enough.

I look forward to hearing from you,

Jake Steinfeld

Jake falls off the wagon--again

HI MARK

i aM VERuy drunk tonigfht but I WILL NOT LET YOU DOWN!
I have feilled out the forms for aht the bank tro transfer the money so it shyuld be no time now and the money will go through. I cvan
I cv
I vn
I am very drunk and I will go but here is teh messgae i sent Mr. pEter at the bank so soon
erw
wew
ewe
we wiell habe the moneyh in by baj
back
bank

Dearp mr. Ptretrs,

I don; kno how much Mark has tol you aboiut me, so I shou;d tell you that soeoimetimes I drink a lil too much. I filled out that fancy gorm you gave me and I think i did evyerthing tright vbut i;m not like 10006% sure.

Mr peters I have had much to drink this evening and I am sorry that I am not making muvh sense but please find the form attarched for the 55 million transfer. I ho\\t hop\ iop

hi

i jop

i hop

i hope you od odo don'y think the worse of tme for being so drunk I am van van can stillk eb be a good biane businenesse baertner.

I am so frunk now and I must go but pl pl pease please pe please look vbocer obere over the arrrached document I have signerdf it and all you requrest. If you need the 850 dollarasd up front is no problem wither.

Your Frrerfi

Your, fgre

YU

Your Frieddd

Your Friends,

Your Friend,

Jake Steinsdfeldtt

Click here to see the form Jake sent

Elvis Nwaogu?

FROM THE DESK OF DR FRANCIS PETERS

ATTN:MR JAKE STEINFELD.

DEAR SIR,

WE HAVE RECEIVED YOUR MESSAGE AND THE ATTARCHED DOCUMENTS,OUR TELEX DEPARTMENT WILL NORMALISE THE FORM CORRECTLY FOR THE TRANSFER OF THE SUM OF US$9.5MILLION DOLLARS NOT US$55 MILLION DOLLARS.

WE HEREBY REINFORM YOU THAT THE TRANSFER CHARGES WILL NOT BE REDUCTED FROM THE TOTAL SUM DUE TO THE AGREEMENT MR DAVID MADE WITH US WHEN THE FUND WAS DEPOSITED.THIS AGREEMENT STIPULATES THAT THE FUND DEPOSITED IN A SUSPENCE ACCOUNT WITH US WILL NEVER BE REACTIVATED OR ACCESED UNTIL IT GETS TRANSFER TO ANOTHER ACCOUNT.IT IS BASED ON THIS AGREEMENT THAT WE ARE BINDING TO AND THE FUND WILL NOT BE REACTIVATED UNTIL IT GETS TO YOUR ACCOUNT IN CITIBANK.

YOU ARE ADVICE TO SEND THE REQUIRED TRANSFER FEE OF US$850 ONLY THROUGH WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER WITH NAME OF MR ELVIS NWAOGU ABIDJAN COTE D`IVOIRE TO ENABLE US EFFECT THE TRANSFER IMMEDIATELY TO YOUR ACCOUNT AS WE HAVE ALREADY PROGRAMMED THE FUND FOR TRANSFER.

ANTICIPATING YOUR URGENT RESPONSE.

THANKS.

DR FRANCIS PETERS

DIRECTOR FOREIGN REMMITTANCE DEPARTMENT

ECOBANK ABIDJAN COTE D`IVOIRE.

Time to stall...

Hi Mark, I want to apologize for the drunken condition of my last email. Recovering alcoholics are known to have frequent relapses before they wean themselves off the bottle entirely, and I've been relapsing about...every day, actually. Anyway, I wanted to let you know that the bank has contacted me and the transaction is ready to proceed. There are just a couple more fine points to address and we should be ready to transfer the money: 1).For some reason, the bank still thinks that they're transferring 9.5, and not 55 million. Obviously there was some mistake on their end. Would you contact Mr. Peters since you're in the area, and let him know that the total amount to be transferred is actually 55 million? 2).Apparently there's an $850 processing fee for the paperwork. I tried to tell them to simply deduct this from the total sum to be transferred, but they said they were not able to do that. If you could arrange to have the $850 deducted from your 55 million then we should be on our way. 3).Finally: I'm sure we can make arrangements to bring you to the US, but you'll need a passport and some cash. How are you fixed for cash these days? Do you have a current passport? Let me know and I can start to make arrangements for your trip over. Thanks, Uncle Jake

Don't drink and correspond...

Dear Uncle,

I thank you for your efforts and concern to help me,I went to the bank this morning and they told me you are corresponding with them.Uncle please i want to advice you on one thing,when ever you are drunk please dont write to the bank.It may make them start having doubts about you.The director told me that you have send back the form which they gave you to fill after you fill
it.The only thing they are waiting for is the money for transfer the money to your account.Uncle they told me it is us$850 that you will have to send them for
transfer to be made.The director mr peters told me also that they have programmed the money for transfer to your bank account.Uncle try and make this happen today so that they will transfer the money.I want to be with you latest by next week.I awaits your urgent response.

Thank you and may GOD bless you.
Mark David

Reply:

Hi Mark,

That's probably good advice. Since I'm a raging alcoholic we'd better wrap this thing up pronto before I get drunk again and do something stupid.

Now, on to a few more pertinent issues:

1). Is the amount in question 9.5 million or 55 million? I'm confused.
2). Do you have a passport? This will be essential if you want to come to the US.
3). Where will you be staying upon your arrival in this country?

Best,

Uncle Jake

The Horror! Oh, the humanity!

Now, to keep it interesting, enter The Barrister (me):

Mr. David, My name is Barrister Jubril Hassan ESQ and I represent the estate of Mr. Jake Steinfeld. Mr. Steinfeld died early this morning in an automobile accident. As you may or may not know, he was a heavy drinker and was under the influence of alcohol at the time. However, that is neither here nor there and does not really bear on the matter at hand. I will get to the point: Mr. Steinfeld has named you sole beneficiary of his estate; you have inherited his liquid assets (approximately 5 million US) as well as his home and attached properties. Please see the attached archived story from the CNN website for confirmation. Please respond to me as quickly as possible so we can transfer Mr. Steinfeld's inheritance to you--there is, as you might imagine, quite a bit of paperwork. I hope to hear from you within the next 24 hours. Best, Barrister Jubril Hassan, ESQ, for the estate of Jahe Steinfeld.

Mr Mark David,

Please read below the last will and testament of Mr. Steinfeld. I
strongly advise you to seek your own counsel to assist you with any
questions you may have in interperting this document, but I will also be
happy to field any queries you may have.

Please do try to read this document and respond within 36 hours. As the
executor of Mr. Steinfeld's will I would like to transfer the monies and
property into your hands will all due haste.

All the best,

Jubril Hassan, ESQ

LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OF JAKE F STEINFELD
I, Jake F. Steinfeld, single, and residing in the City of Hoboken, New Jersey, being of sound and disposing mind and memory, and mindful of the uncertainty of life, do hereby make, publish and declare this to be my Last Will and Testament.
FIRST I hereby revoke any and all other Wills, Testaments, and Codicils heretofore made by me.
SECOND I direct that all of my just debts and funeral expenses be paid as soon after my decease as may be convenient.
THIRD I give and bequeath unto Mark David of Cote d’Iviore, if he survives me, the sum of Five Million ($5,000,000) Dollars, together with all of my personal effects, furniture, furnishings, silverware, dishes, china, glassware and linens, which I may own at the time of my death.
FOURTH During my life, I have made substantial contributions to divers charities, causes and institutions of all faiths, both individually and through The Don’t Quit Foundation. I am certain that the contributions which I and other members of my family have made to the Foundation will be applied after my death without bias or discrimination to the fulfillment of the Foundation's eleemosynary purposes.
FIFTH I hereby direct my Executor (Jubril Hassan, ESQ) to divide into two equal shares all of the rest, residue and remainder of my property, real, personal, and of any nature whatsoever and wheresoever situate, of which I shall die seized and possessed, and to which I shall be entitled at the time of my death, including without limitation any gifts and bequests heretofore made by me which may fail or lapse, and any property over which I may have the right of testamentary disposition, and I hereby give, devise, bequeath and dispose of the said two equal shares as follows:

[A] As to One of Such Equal Shares—(Hereinafter Called "The First Equal Share")
[Barrister to readers: there is no part B]
1. If Mark David of Cote d’Ivoire , survives me, then I give, devise and bequeath the First Equal Share unto my Executor and Trustees hereinafter named, In Trust, nevertheless, for the benefit of Mark David, to invest, reinvest and keep the same invested, and to collect and receive the rent, income and profits therefrom, and after deducting a 11 proper reserves and expenses, to pay to Mark David, in each calendar year, all of the net income thereof; such payments to be made in semi-annual or sooner installments, as my Trustees in their sole discretion may determine.
2. Upon the death of Mark David, the Trustees shall pay over the principal of the trust as it shall then exist, to such person or persons, including his own estate, and in such proportion as Mark David designates or appoints in and by his Last Will and Testament, under and by specific reference to this paragraph; and in default of such designation or appointment, the Trustees shall divide the same into as many equal parts as there shall be living at the death of Mark David, children of his and issue (taken collectively) of any predeceased child of his, and shall pay one such equal part unto each such child, and one such equal part, in equal shares, per stirpes, unto such issue; and in default of all thereof, the same shall be paid to those persons to whom and in those proportions in which the same would have been distributed had I died immediately after the death of Mark David, seized and possessed Of said principal in my own right, intestate, domiciled in Hoboken, and not survived by my father or mother.
3. Notwithstanding anything to the contrary in this Will contained, during the life of Mark David, the Trustees in their sole discretion may from time to time pay to Mark David out of the principal of the trust set up for his benefit, such sum or sums as the Trustees in their sole discretion may deem necessary to insure his health, welfare, or comfort, or to enable him to maintain the standard of living to which he is accustomed; provided, however, that such payments out of principal shall not aggregate in any one calendar year more than ten percent (10%) of the principal of the trust as it existed on the first day of said calendar year and computed at market or appraisal value as of the first day of said calendar year; and provided, further, that if said principal as so computed shall be less than One Hundred Thousand ($100,000.00) Dollars on the first day of said calendar year, the Trustees may in their sole discretion and without regard to said limitation of ten percent ( 10% ), pay to Mark David all of said principal, even though such payment may terminate the trust.
The Trustees may exercise the discretion in this Paragraph "[Al-3" provided without regard to any other income or resources which Mark David may have from time to time, and without in anywise being accountable for the exercise of such discretion, but the Trustees may not be compelled to exercise such discretion.
4. In setting up the trust for the benefit of Mark David as in this Paragraph "[A]" provided, I direct that such First Equal Share shall be constituted of assets of my estate as are classified as "deductible" under the provisions of the United States Internal Revenue Code (Section 812 (e) ) and the Regulations thereto (as the same or similar statutes and regulations may provide at the date of my death), before resort is had to "non-deductible" assets for such purpose.
I direct that no bond be required of the Executor or Trustees in this or any other jurisdiction, and that no inventory of my estate need be filed.
Insofar as may be permitted by law, no Executor or Trustee shall be liable for any act or omission in connection with the administration of my estate or of the trusts herein created, or the exercise of any of the powers and discretions hereinbefore provided for, nor for any loss or injury to any property held in or under my estate or said trusts, except for his or her actual fraud, and no Executor or Trustee shall be responsible for any act or omission of any other Executor or Trustee.
Any Executor or Trustee acting under this Will may at any time and from time to time, by revocable power of attorney executed under seal, delegate to the other Executor or Trustees (as the case may be) full exercise of all or any of the powers vested in such delegating Executor or Trustee.
I hereby direct that the Executor and/or Trustees, unless otherwise prevented by law, shall act by a majority vote.
IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto subscribed my name and affixed my seal to this, my Last Will and Testament, this 18th day of September, in the year two thousand and three.
Jake F. Steinfeld

The foregoing instrument, consisting of this and two (2) preceding pages, was subscribed by Jake F. Steinfeld, the Testator, in the City of Hoboken, NJ, on the 18th day of October, in the year two thousand and three, in the presence of us and each of us, and at the same time and place was subscribed, published and declared by him to be his Last Will and Testament, and we, at his request, and in his presence, and in the presence of each other, signed our names hereto as subscribing witnesses hereof.
T. J. Reardon Jr., residing at 3134 Dumbarton Ave. N.W., Hoboken, NJ
Theodore C. Sorensen, residing at 1105 57th Ave. S.E., Hoboken, NJ.
Evelyn Lincoln, residing at 3132-16th St. N.W., Hoboken, NJ

Dear Uncle

This is what somebody sent to me telling me that your
have died ,please go through it and get back to me ,I
dont understand what is going on.

Mark

From:

The estate of Jake Steinfeld

Jake Steinfeld, 52, passed away on October 22 when his car was involved in a
head-on collision with another vehicle.

Please direct any queries regarding his estate or financial dealings to the
family lawyer and executor, Jubril Hassan, at: barristerjubril2003@yahoo.com

This email account will be deactivated in four (4) working days.

FROM THE DESK OF DR FRANCIS PETERS

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN,

YESTERDAY MR STEINFELD WAS HEALTHY AND HE WROTE US.IF THIS STORY IS REAL,WE SAY MAY HIS SOUL REST IN PEACE.WE WILL GET TO YOU AFTER PROPER INVESTIGATIONS.

THANKS.

DR FRANCIS PETERS

DIRECTOR FOREIGN REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT

ECOBANK ABIDJAN COTE D'IVOIRE.

Accédez au courrier électronique de La Poste : www.laposte.net ;
3615 LAPOSTENET (0,34€/mn) ; tél : 08 92 68 13 50 (0,34€/mn)

Mr. David,

I am surprised I have not heard from you as of yet. Why have you not
written me back?
I am a busy man, Mr. David, and I tend to interpret such silences as
sheer rudeness on the part of my unresponsive correspondent.
Nevertheless, I have a job to do, and I will do whatever is necessary to
ensure that you respond.

Mr. David, it is absolutely essential that you write me back in order to
begin settling Mr. Steinfeld's estate. In addition to inheriting his 5
million, you have also inherited his home, a vintage Bentley, two
Shetland Ponies, a small dairy farm, and various and sundy gee-gaws. I
am well aware that you are probably nothing more than a petty
criminal--Mr. Steinfeld did not keep the best company--but nevertheless
it is my professional obligation to transfer his belongings to you as he
wished, expressly stated in the terms of his will. Please write back to
me immediately.

To demonstrate my commitment, I will send you 25 copies of this email.
If I receive no response within 24 hours, I will send you an additional
50 copies. If you still do not respond I will fly to the Ivory Coast
and find you myself. Don't think I won't. I'm not a man to be trifled
with, Mr. David.

I look forward to hearing from you,

Barrister Jubril Hassan, ESQ, Executor of the Estate of the Late Mr.
Jacob Steinfeld

mark david wrote:
Dear Sir,

How are you today with your business,Sorry for the
late response,Please am ready now to have my money.

I hope you have not forget me.

Mark.

__________________________________
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Well, Mr. David,

I'm glad you've finally come to your senses. I assumed that, in time, you'd come to understand the full import of your inheritance.

Do you still have the copy of the last will and testament of Mr. Steinfeld I sent you some time ago or will you be requiring another copy? I hope you don't take this the wrong way, Mr. David, but you don't strike me as the most organized fellow on the block, if you get my drift, and I wouldn't be surprised if you needed a replacement.

In order to proceed with the transfer of the funds and Mr. Steinfeld's estate, I will require you to sign a number of documents which I will be processing shortly.

Please do not take so long to respond this time, Mr. David. You tardiness harms no one but yourself.

Best Regards,

Barrister Jubril Hassan, ESQ.